Mariana Martinez | Dear (Class of 2028) Quakers: Networking is overrated

As an international student, I came to Penn much too naive for an environment known for its never-ending grind, high pressure, and cutthroat competitiveness. Perhaps because I never expected to end up at Penn, I didn’t spend enough time digging around campus lifestyle to find out about the intense networking culture. 

So, I decided early on that I would go back home for my freshman summer break, completely unaware that most Penn students take on internships or research positions during that time. According to the last survey conducted by Penn Career Services, only 6% of the undergraduate population chooses to take their summer off. Even though my friends from other American schools told me to relax, that rising sophomores at their schools more often than not take the summer off, I was stunned to find that, at Penn, only 11% of the rising sophomore class does. 

Finally, during my freshman spring semester, I heard for the first time the expression “your network is your net worth,” and, suddenly, the relevance of networking at Penn clicked for me. I started spiraling: Why hadn’t I talked to enough people throughout the year? Why hadn’t I chosen the “right” clubs? Why hadn’t I been to all of my professors’ office hours? I felt like I was already behind. I managed to convince myself that I would never find a job because I hadn’t been talking to the “right” people throughout my freshman year (dramatic, maybe?), like my classmates had. 

But as my summer — that started off bitter and dreadful — flew by, I realized how unproductive Penn’s networking culture can be. I was beating myself up about not going to enough events and instead … having too much fun? 

Although, networking is quite relevant to American culture. To find jobs in the United States, the networking system is in fact very valuable. It’s important to know how to pitch ourselves to open doors to pursue new opportunities, and in turn, we can help others who will later return the favor. But it is not only about how many people we come to know but about how much these people know us: “it’s about being visible, remarkable, impossible to ignore.” Yet in a matter of seconds, the networking system seems to go from something very valuable to a cutthroat pressure.

I wonder: who am I at Penn if not my list of achievements that will make me stand out in a crowd? My “work” self and my “actual” self who, in high school, had their own place and time, fused at Penn as the need to be constantly impressing and networking fell upon me. It became hard to find out who I was as a person outside a working environment. 

It feels like we already must know what we want, even though we supposedly are in the place to discover what we want. But, somehow, these needs to be constantly pitching and introducing yourself make it seem like not knowing what you want is wrong. During summer I beat myself up for not knowing what to pursue, who to talk to, but then again: how am I supposed to target “the right people” if I don’t know what I want yet? And honestly, running around trying to target everyone and everything seems exhausting, unproductive, and unnecessarily stressful. 

Engaging in such cutthroat networking culture takes a toll on mental health. Online networking is associated with symptoms like depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. At Penn it seems to be no different, as many students claim to feel the pressure, on top of the fact that Penn has famously been the “most depressed student body in America.” Excessive networking culture creates an ambience where there is no space for vulnerability and mistakes. This “Penn Face” forces us to swallow our feelings and never let others see us struggle in this highly competitive arena. At Penn, I feel like I must be put together all the time, tied up with a little pink bow like a present, ready to dazzle every single person I meet. But this version of me is not the real me. Is it worth having 500+ connections if you can’t be your true selves? 

Granted, I am not saying you should not take an opportunity if it’s offered or to never go after something ever again. What I’m saying is that we should normalize putting an occasional stop to the grind. Meet someone for the sake of meeting them. In the end, one of the best things about college is being surrounded by so many wonderful and different people. Be your own, actual self before showing off your “academic” self. Put your trust in fate. Who knows, maybe the person you chose to meet without intending to get something out of will open some doors for you in the future.

While my freshman year decisions might not have been the most “informed,” I don’t regret anything at all. I know I joined the clubs I was genuinely interested in and the friends I’ve made along the way I’ve made because we have truly bonded and connected. If you’ve ever felt like you are drowning in this cutthroat pool of achievements and ambitions, let me tell you, I have, too. But dear (future) Quakers, it’s okay to slow down for a little while and find genuine passion in learning. After all the hard work that goes into getting into a school like Penn, we at least deserve to relax and choose our own adventure. 

MARIANA MARTINEZ is a rising College sophomore from Bogotá, Colombia. Her email is marmari@sas.upenn.edu.