"God, I hope this is funny": Senior Sports Editor applies to Friars

PHILADELPHIA — Nick Buchta had never had anything handed to him in life, nor had he ever been invited to participate in something. Both of those things changed at the same time.

The decision to apply to Friars was an easy one for Buchta, a 5-foot-10 junior out of Cleveland who was literally handed his invitation to the smoker in the middle of the night outside the DP offices.

“Don’t fuck this up,” said Riley Steele, former senior sports editor and current SWUG, upon handing Buchta (0-97 at being asked to join groups, lifetime) the invitation.

There were a number of factors that went into applying. Chief among them was the realization that Buchta’s friends are all in the Class of 2016.

“Guys. Please. I need friends next year,” Buchta pleaded according to one source present at the time of his application.

With Friars, Buchta would have a chance to join a community comprised of all walks of Penn life, making friends of people with all kinds of accomplishments he could never fathom.

There has been further speculation that this is all part of Buchta slowly turning into a lite version of Steele (Aluminum, if you will).

Rumors have also swirled for months about harassment from his peers at the Daily Pennsylvanian driving him to seek other, better friends.

“No, I do not want to do senior sports editor. Your life is miserable,” Sports Editor Tommy Rothman said. This comment was the final straw for Buchta.

Now, with his application, Buchta is ready to get out of the frying pan and into the Friars.

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