DPOSTM sophomore receiver Colin Henderson was injured in a tune-up for this season's Kamin Cup and is listed as probable for the all-important rivalry game.
Alex Ott takes the snap, rolls out left, throws to the endzone … touchdown Steven Tydings! DPOSTM wins again!
That was the scene last season as DPOSTM escaped with its eighth straight win over News in the historic Kamin Cup. But this season, the Weenies are out for revenge.
After being named Rookie of the Year after last season’s Cup, Matt Mantica is looking to ‘disrupt’ Sports’ offense as the new man in charge. The former Quidditch star has a few tricks up his sleeve while he tries to make his side relevant in the game.
“I feel like this squad hasn’t had a strong mission,” he said. “We need to f*** s*** up.”
Lining up against Mantica will be a squad that features plenty of young talent. Sophomore quarterback Holden McGinnis should be a large part of the DPOSTM gameplan, having humbled himself since trying to run the team last year.
“[I’m] just bringinga lot of energy, no matter what I’m doing,” he said. “And just learning while I’m leading.”
A big question mark for the Sports section will be whether fellow sophomore sensation Colin Henderson is ready to go come Thursday. Henderson injured his hand in a tune-up last week, causing speculation that he may not be able to play in the big game.
However, the sophomore is confident in what he showed last week.
“I think I ran the field well and got to the right spots at the right times,” Henderson said. “I’m just trying to do the things I know I can do every day, like play hard and make catches. So I’ll start there, and if I score a touchdown here and there, it’s a bonus.”
DPOSTM also touts a sensational freshman class, including the talent of spunky pizza editor-elect Carter Coudriet.
“All in all, I think we may have too much talent,” the arrogant rookie receiver said. “Too many wideouts will spoil the broth.”
Adding to DPOSTM’s depth out wide will be two Division I athletes – Sam Altland and Laine Higgins. Both players bring a level of athleticism rarely seen in the Kamin Cup.
On top of that, the three-headed monster of Tom, Tom and Tommy may be enough to smarf out the opposing defense with a ‘Michigan man’ attitude. Causing a ruckus amongst the Weenies was a meme posted of junior tailback Harry Cooperman by Tommy Rothman, fueling the hatred between the two sides.
“I could really use a hug right now,” Cooperman said. Fellow junior Jennifer Yu added that the picture caused her to “feel many emotions” to the point that she “can’t even…”
News was also dealt a blow when word got out that last year’s Kamin Cup MVP – the venerable John Phillips – would come out of retirement to play for DPOSTM one last time.
“Dear News department, I apologize for my late entry into the big game,” Phillips said in a statement. “It was inconsiderate of me and I regret my actions.”
Teammate Ian Wenik, also playing in his last Kamin Cup, was enthused by Phillips’ addition to the starting lineup. Wenik is undefeated in his three appearances in the historic rivalry; however, he left last year’s game early with a reservation for lunch.
Wenik has pledged to stay for all two hours this year, stating that his plan was to “crash this game.”
Putting the sports department’s gameplan together will be Tydings, playing and coaching in his final game for DPOSTM. Tydings was emotional before the final game, looking up Youtube videos of Derek Jeter while sobbing openly.
However, the junior running back fought through the tears when talking to the media on Wednesday for the final time.
"Every game comes with its own distractions, and you need to be able to block out those distractions once the game starts," Tydings said. "Our kids have done a good job of doing that.
"It's going to be a bittersweet day for the seniors — it will be bittersweet for me — but when the game starts, we need to put our best foot forward and try and get that win."
Coach-in-waiting Riley Steele DP declined to comment on Tydings and instead focused on the game. Steele was none too pleased after last season’s plethora of turnovers that almost ended DPOSTM’s win streak.
“It’s my responsibility to challenge these guys to play a perfect game,” Steele said. “So with that, having six turnovers at halftime and ending up with eight for the game is unacceptable.
“We’ve got to get better.”
Since it is his final game, Wenik looked back fondly on his time with DPOSTM, hoping to get one final win to add to his resume.
"To be in one place for 23 years, it's somewhat unusual, but I've loved it and I'd like to think we've had more good moments than bad," Wenik said. "We're all caretakers to a newspaper that is over 130 years old, and the seniors and I are happy to pass it on to the next guys who will keep it on track."
A previous version of this article stated that Carter Coudriet was video producer-elect. He is a terrible person and is also pizza editor. The DP doesn't actually regret this error.
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