ABC’s Of U Of P

For all the freshmeat out there, here is a quick and comprehensive guide to Penn’s lingo. All the cool kids use it (or at least some of it) and so will you, so consider this your homework for NSO. Study up and impress your friends with your new Penn-friendly vocabulary.

A-Gut – Otherwise known as Amy Gutmann, the president of our fine institution. She is often seen praising the university’s newest class at Convocation or fluffing her perfect coif.

Allegro’s - The pizza place where all the drunk people go. Its location (between the Quad and a bunch of frat houses) makes it the spot to feed your late-night craving, but beware: it closes at 2am.

Blarney – Popular off-campus bar that most commonly hosts athletes and people who couldn’t get into Smokes.

Bui’s – A food truck right by Commons that is rumored to have the best hangover remedies around.

The Button – The beautiful fixture outside of Van Pelt. We love it. You should too.

BYO – Commonly known as BYOB which is commonly known as “Bring Your Own Bottle”. Such places as Don Memo’s and Beijing will allow you to Bring Your Own alcohol which they will in turn serve right back to you.

The Compass – Located in the middle of Locust Walk. Step on it before your first midterm and you’re doomed, unless you get naughty under the Button to reverse the curse.

Copa – A bar named Copabanana, conveniently located across the street from Allegro, famous for “Copa Wednesdays. They tend to be more lenient with the underage.

Downtowns – Parties that are downtown, frequently . In the city. Over the bridge. Whoa .

The DP – The Daily Pennsylvanian, aka our daily newspaper. They own Under The Button, so...by the transitive property, you should like them.

FroGro – Fresh Grocer, the 24 hour supermarket located on 40th and Walnut.

Hillel – Most of you (read: all the Jews) probably know what this is, but for those of you not in the know... Hillel has a kickass dining hall. Use your meal swipes there.

Off-Campus – Much like downtowns but more frat, less class. Frats are sneaky and have many off-campus houses where they serve alcohol to minors and grope them on the dance floor in houses that aren’t officially recognized by their frat. Sneaky bastards.

Rosenparty – Rosengarten, located in the basement of Van Pelt. Everyone who’s anyone has studied there. Sometimes they even eat and sleep there. We don’t recommend that.

Smokes – Shorthand for Smokey Joe’s, the bar where all the cool upperclassmen go. Not at all lenient about fakes so don’t bother.

Street – 34th Street Magazine. The hip sista to the DP and our journalistic BFF, it’s a weekly arts and culture mag with spunk.

The Tampons – The weird red structures between Commons and the Highrises. No one can really explain what they’re doing there or why they look like used feminine hygiene products.

UTB – Under the Button. The most important thing you’ll learn on this list. Enough said.

18 to ___ , 21 to ____ – What every Facebook party invite will say for any registered party. Such gems as “18 to orient, 21 to disorient” and “18 to have the fever, 21 to get down with the sickness” are code for “this party will probably suck”.

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