Ask the Daily Pennsylvanian: Housing Edition

Dear Daily Pennsylvanian,

I live in one of the high rises and share a communal kitchen with my roommates. My roommates eat all my food. I’ve tried labeling everything and calling them out on it. Regardless, loaves of bread disappear within a moment’s notice. What should I do?

— Hungry in the High Rises

Dear Hungry,

Obviously the answer to your question should be to get a breadbox with a lock.

Just kidding. You should set up clear boundaries about food — e.g., if I bought it and I didn’t explicitly say it’s for sharing, then it’s mine. Alternatively, you can set up individual storage areas and assign one shelf to one person. If talking doesn’t work, perhaps you should consider getting a mini-fridge to store your food in your bedroom.

And remember, housing apps will be here before you know it!

— The DP

Dear DP,

After a long night of partying, one of my roommates came into our apartment and threw up all over my bedroom door. I found it at 3 a.m. and he hadn’t cleaned it up yet. Incidents such as these are not uncommon. What should I do?

— Still Cleaning

Dear Cleaning,

Um, ew. We’re cringing just reading this. But before you consider booby-trapping your door at night, talk to your roommate in person. Calmly tell him what’s been happening in case he was too blackout drunk to remember and ask him to find the bathroom (and clean it) next time instead of disrespecting your space — and, by extension, you. If it doesn’t stop, start looking for more respectful roommates for next year.

In the meantime, we recommend investing in some heavy-duty gloves and antibacterial cleaner.

— The DP

Dear DP,

My housing group last year was in need of an extra member, so we joined with a girl we didn’t know, “Kelly.” It ended up not working and we had a messy split. Since then, I’ve found out that she’s close with one of my family members. I’m seeing that side of the family soon, and I bet that family member will ask about her. Help!

— Dreading the Reunion

Dear Dreading,

As Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Happy families are all alike.” That is, they force you to converse and share your precious holidays with distant relatives you don’t really know or like. Right?

But really, in this situation, the best thing you can do is just be honest. When your ever-loving aunt asks you “How are things with you and Kelly?” you should tell her that there was a disagreement and you haven’t spoken with Kelly lately. No need to evade the situation. And now that you’ve “split” with Kelly, perhaps you can move on and become friends.

— The DP

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