Joke Issue: Penn Panhandlers Union hold first meeting in McDonald's

A group of 15 panhandlers stood together inside of McDonald’s to brainstorm a new campaign to make themselves more visible on campus.

In an early morning gathering, the newly formed Penn Pan Handlers Union were having their first General Assembly. The group is planning on unionizing for more appreciation from students and faculty on campus.

The president of PPHU, Carl Marx, is a long-term panhandler at Penn. “This wouldn’t be an urban campus without us,” he said. Marx believes panhandlers teach the “coddled children of Penn” valuable lessons about the harsh realities of the real world. “We can’t all bursar Houston Hall salads,” he said. “We can’t all score floor passes to see Passion Pit and Tiësto.”

Marx believes panhandlers are giving students their “second education” outside of the classroom. “We should be charging $56,106 a year!” All of the panhandlers in the room cheered to show their support.

Many students were sympathetic with their cause. The Student Labor Action Project is circulating a petition asking students to show panhandlers that they are appreciative.

However, Vice President of Public Safety Maureen Rush asked students not to support the PPHU’s efforts.

The Division of Public Safety, which sees student safety as its utmost priority, often tells panhandlers on campus to cease and desist. Rush said panhandlers can often scam students.

“Safety and security is a shared responsibility,” she said. The panhandlers on campus have been a long-running concern for DPS, according to Rush. She hopes students will not fight for this particular cause, despite the fact that “they love a chance to protest.”

She added, “Together, our responsibility is to enhance safety and security.”

For more information, check out this related story.

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