*This story appeared in the 2010 Joke Issue.
In response to student and faculty pleas for inclusiveness, the University announced the first-ever Wharton American Studies Program.
The program’s focus will be the study of the Anglo-Saxon races and the management of the Anglican Church, Wharton Dean Thomas Robertson wrote in a statement.
“We have a number of classes devoted to the study of minority cultures,” he wrote. “This track will add to the diversity of options available.”
The program will cater to an underrepresented student constituency, according to Professor Preston van der Blanke, the coordinator of the program.
Students will all receive iPads and a copy of the The Preppy Handbook.
Though most of the classes will focus on history and culture, the program will be run through Wharton because “those students have shown a greater interest in WASPs,” Professor Winthrop Smyth-Waverly said.
This fall, Smyth-Waverly will teach a class called “The History of Nantucket Culture: 18th Century to the Present.” The course will cover everything from Herman Melville’s Moby Dick to the proper way to wear Nantucket Reds — both plain and pleated.
“It’s a culture that we need to preserve,” he said.
Students could not be more thrilled with the creation of the program, Wharton junior Warner Huntington III said. “All the history classes are always about the American South. What about the American North?” he asked.
Huntington plans to take Gin Drinking 101 in the fall to fulfill the Cultural Diversity in the U.S. sector. “I know basically everything there is to know about gin, so it should be an easy A,” he said.
The creation of the program will lead to better treatment of the WASP community on campus, Wharton senior Vivian Kensington said.
“The University is remarkably accepting,” Kensington said, “but there is still a lot of work that needs to be done.”
As per usual, Wharton Communications could not be reached for comment.
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