Christina Domenico | Combating domestic violence

Spring is in the air, finally. Lovey-dovey couples will soon stroll hand-in-hand along the daffodil-lined Locust Walk giggling in their happiness. Cue the music, if you please.

But appearances can be deceiving. As anyone with an Internet connection knows, even the most seemingly happy relationships can have a dark side. For over a year, 21-year-old pop princess Rihanna and her 19-year-old knight-in-shining-armor Chris Brown appeared the perfect pair. But when Rihanna found one three-page text message from another girl on Brown's phone, it sparked two felony charges' worth of violence and flooded the gossip blogs with gruesome photos of the victim and court dates for the offender.

Since the February incident, we've learned that this didn't come out of the blue. Nevertheless, within weeks, the pair reunited to work through their issues. Even after a couple of shiners, a bloody lip and plenty of bruising, Rihanna's gone back to Brown. While dating violence may seem like a foreign concept on a college campus, it's a hidden crime that occurs more often than perceived. The Rihanna/Chris Brown case shows that domestic violence can go unnoticed until a physical incident causes serious harm. Even though you don't often see such conflict, understanding the nature of domestic violence can help those who find themselves facing it.

Jessica Mertz, violence-prevention educator at the Penn Women's Center, explained in an e-mail that "studies show that the highest rate of intimate-partner violence happens among women between the ages of 16-24. But we also know that domestic violence continues to be one of the most underrated crimes in the country, so it is difficult to truly reflect how large of a problem this is through numbers alone."

In fact, Mertz wrote that dating violence on college campuses has received more attention in recent years. Even so, identifying just how big a problem it's become is no easy task. Rihanna and Chris Brown, like many couples across the nation, appeared to get along just fine. It's up to the victims to speak up and seek help.

But that's when the situation gets stickier - for what often happens is that the victim gets the blame. In a recent survey of 12- to 19-year-olds, the Boston Public Health Commission found that 46 percent of respondents believed Rihanna was responsible for the incident. More than half felt the media are treating Brown unfairly.

"As we see with the Rihanna and Chris Brown case, the attention and blame immediately is turned towards the victim, especially if they choose to remain in a relationship," Mertz wrote. "There is a common misconception that it is easy for someone to leave a partner after they have been abused, but it's much more complicated than people realize. People often love their partners despite the abusive behavior, and they truly have hope that they will change."

Victims, therefore, take the blame. Domestic violence doesn't only take the form of physical violence - psychological and emotional harm also qualify. Once a pattern sets in, escaping the downward spiral is often the most difficult - and most violent - part. Mertz said that abusive behavior escalates over time, making it harder for the victim to get out of the situation.

As the Boston survey found, there's a serious lack of education covering domestic violence and relationships among teenagers. Seventy-one percent thought that arguing in a relationship is a normal occurrence, and 44 percent said fighting was routine. With domestic violence so normalized among young people, it's no wonder that it's become so prevalent.

Although domestic violence - once finally recognized - may be difficult to face, speaking up and seeking assistance is most important. Penn has a number of resource centers to turn to. Mertz pointed out that the Women's Center, Special Services, Counseling and Psychological Services and the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center are all staffed with people to talk to when a relationship goes south. They even offer guidance when you believe a friend is stuck in a bad situation.

With any luck, incidents like that which Rihanna has suffered will shed light on the realities of domestic violence and its lurking threat across the country. But even then, it takes a lot for a victim to end a cycle of abuse and make the right decision. Let's hope this furthers the dialogue among young people.

Christina Domenico is a College senior from North Wildwood, N.J. The Undersized Undergrad appears on Tuesdays. Her email address is domenico@dailypennsylvanian.com.

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