David Kanter | Thinking before we speak

In my ninth grade sex-ed class Ms. Dorado one day tried to explain that the use of the word "gay" as a pejorative could be quite offensive.

"No, no Ms. Dorado," retorted a classmate of mine. "We don't use it to offend anyone. We just use it to say that something is stupid."

As naive as my young classmate might've seemed, I have to admit that many of my classmates here at Penn can be just as insensitive. On a regular basis, I hear "gay" used as a synonym for stupid or as a "playful" insult to impugn a male student's masculinity.

If you ardently oppose the legitimacy of any sexual identity other than heterosexuality, you can stop reading now. Nothing I say here will change your mind. But for those of you who from time to time tend to dabble in a little "casual homophobia" without intending malice, perhaps next time you should think before you speak.

College senior Phil Shecter, co-chairman of the Queer Student Alliance, equated the negative use of the word "gay" to the derogatory use of the words "Jewish" and "black." Most people,

especially on our campus, quite rightfully take the initiative to squelch anti-Semitism and racial insensitivity. Yet more often than not, casual homophobia is tacitly accepted.

"Allies of the LGBT community need to explain to people that that's not the right use of the word 'gay,'" Shecter told me.

College sophomore Alec Webley, vice-chairman for political affairs of the Lambda Alliance, told me that casual homophobia doesn't offend him because offense isn't intended.

"You tend to find that when you do correct people, they tend to be quite taken aback," he told me. "Nine times out of 10 they'll say, 'Oh, I'm sorry.'"

Webley wishes to see the negative connotation of "gay" disappear, yet doesn't want to live in a society in which he has to "line you up against the wall and shoot you with my gun of political correctness."

"Attacking the fear underlying the word is far more effective than just attacking the word," he said. "That's far more productive than saying, 'Oh my god! He said gay, he's a homophobe.'"

Webley's right. Proactively combating the fear underlying the word is more important than battling mere semantics.

But each of us can play a role in stifling homophobic sentiment by becoming more conscious of the way we us our words. I can't tell you not to use the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid," but just be aware that when you do, you might inadvertently offend those who can hear you.

Now, I'm well aware that there are homosexuals who don't take issue with the pejorative use of the word "gay." Perhaps you'll then argue that I'm making something out of nothing, an issue out of a non-issue.

I don't claim, however, to be speaking on behalf of the gay "community." I'm speaking for anyone who has ever felt out of place and unwelcome.

Each and every one us, at one point or another, has been in the minority. We've heard a snide comment about our race or our religion, our size or our looks.

As a straight white guy from Cape Cod, I had a pretty easy time growing up, but I've been in a group of friends back home when someone makes an insensitive comment about Jews, not realizing I am of Jewish heritage.

I don't mean to say by this that I can relate to living life as a member of a stigmatized minority.

I certainly can't.

But I can at least recognize what it feels like to be an outsider, even if for just an instant. And if you think about it, you probably can too.

So the next time you want to call your buddy "gay" among a group of friends, think twice about what you're saying. You just might make one of your other friends in that group feel a bit out of place.

David Kanter is a College sophomore from East Falmouth, Mass. His e-mail is kanter@dailypennsylvanian.com. David vs. Goliath appears on Wednesdays.

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