Simeon McMillan | The cohort conundrum

I've come to realize that one of the few things administrators and student leaders perennially agree upon is that we clearly don't have enough chances to bond outside the classroom.

This desire to increase Wharton camaraderie must have been the motivation behind the creation of the undergraduate cohort system. Cohorts are clusters designated by Management 100 lecture, bearing the name of one of nine currencies. These include the rising Indian rupee, the fixed Chinese yuan and the precipitously falling American dollar.

The groups compete throughout the year to earn their name etched on the illustrious Cohort Cup. However, you must be living in Hogwarts if you think all is well in Huntsman Hall. Participation in the program has been less than desirable. Student leaders need to seriously ask themselves whether they should make like Barbaro's doctors and put this hobbling horse out of its misery.

"I haven't gone to any cohort events," recalled Wharton freshman, Rebecca Levine. "Turnout is low. Practically no one shows up to anything,"

"Low" would be a drastic understatement. For certain cohorts, a meeting of the Dean Stetson Appreciation Society would have attracted more people.

Judging from the stacks of leftover pizza after some of the events I attended, many innocent bystanders got a free dinner just for walking by.

Maybe the board should raffle out Hannah Montana tickets to create buzz. I hear that Disney girl Miley Cyrus is so hot right now.

But if there has been one success story, besides all the free Papa John's pizza, it's been the cult by the name of Cohort Yen. Maybe they hold the plug to save this sinking ship. Representing the currency of Japan, they're both literally and metaphorically the bright spots of this pilot program. They are to the Cohort competition what Stouffer is to the College House Cup - the lone island of enthusiasts in a sea of apathy. To figure out who spiked their Kool-Aid, I spoke with Wharton sophomore Lisa Cuesta, a member of the first Yen cohort class.

"What made our experience different was our amazing cohort mentor," explained Cuesta. "Her enthusiasm was contagious. We never doubted the whole process because she made it seem so exciting. It was something we could own."

That mentor, Wharton junior Monica Shokrai, is still connected to Yen one year into the program. "My experience was one of the best I've had at Penn," explained Shokrai. "I almost didn't go abroad because of Cohort Yen."

And when I talked to Wharton vice dean Georgette Phillips, she highlighted the program's goal of growing with its students to remain relevant.

"Honestly this is still a work in progress," she told me. "This is the first time that we will have juniors [in the cohorts] this fall, and we are looking into what programs to offer."

Overall, Phillips is optimistic about the program's future. "Freshmen, we believe, we are hitting right on the button, but we're absolutely recognizing this is a revolutionary process."

But despite the efforts of Yen and other dedicated stalwarts, I believe Wharton needs to start asking some difficult questions about the program.

My intuition tells me the cohort program was doomed before it began. Despite the wizardly allusions, it was actually modeled on a system at the graduate level. Unfortunately, MBAs and undergraduates are two different breeds.

"I think they just wanted to make it seem more MBA-like, but you don't have the basic desire to network at the undergrad level," said Wharton senior Dianne Na.

Since MBAs don't have many opportunities to meet people through non-Wharton clubs, residential halls and performing arts groups, they are reliant on their cohorts for a social network.

Freshmen are different. They already have too many groups with which to bond. Between Management 100 and now Greek organizations, giving them another team is sensory overload. Even with new programming for sophomores and juniors, lost interest among freshman is nearly impossible to regain.

I give student leaders an A for effort, but undergraduates don't have enough reasons to care about cohorts. The program can't survive with only a few strong groups, and even those aren't at full participation.

Let's bid adieu to this program and give it a respectful farewell. I hope they have enough pepperoni pizzas at the finale. Throw in some of those snazzy cohort t-shirts, and that'll be an event you truly won't want to miss.

Simeon McMillan is a Wharton senior from Long Island, NY. His e-mail is mcmillan@dailypennsylvanian.com. Common $ense appears Thursdays.

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