"I forget the author… but I was wondering if you had a book called The Game?" I asked the grandfatherly man behind the information desk at the Penn Bookstore.
"Yes, of course," he said. Then, after a pause and a slight roll of the eyes, "We have plenty."
After leading me to the "Relationship" section, the employee reached into the bookshelf-next to a desperately entitled Will He Ever Really Leave Her?-and pulled out a thick black book bound in bad imitation leather.
On the cover were silver-embossed female figurines in suggestive poses and across the front was the title: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss, a self-help reference notoriously known as the user manual for men on women.
The reason I bring up this book, which I hate having to dignify with acknowledgement, is that Penn women should be familiar with the techniques it introduces. Now that guys, in their infinite wisdom, have realized that pick-up lines, honking cars and waving from construction sites don't work, they have switched over to more nuanced and manipulative methods.
Each aspect of a "pick-up" is delineated in The Game, and given the acronym FMAC: Find, Meet, Attract, Close. "Attract" was the stage I personally found most amusing.
Consider the idea of "peacocking." According to the index of definitions, "peacocking" is "to dress in loud clothing or with flashy accoutrements in order to get attention from women." Ideas for such clothing include shiny shirts, light-up jewelry, feather boas, or colorful cowboy hats. In other words, anything that makes a guy stand out in a crowd.
Next, the approach: When coming up to a group of girls at a bar or party scene, the guy is to speak almost exclusively to everyone in the group save for the "target" herself. Then, indirect reference: If the girl is speaking, interrupt her and ask her friends, "Is she always this annoying?" The point of the exchange is to make the girl feel as though she must make herself worthy for this sickeningly eerie male.
Once it is certain that the girl is 'hooked', the idea of "time distortion" comes into play, during which a guy is to make the "target" feel like she's known him for much longer than a few hours. This could mean changing locations (moving around between bars, cafes and restaurants) or mentioning future events. Small phrases like "Oh, you like that movie? Well we should see it," or "You like the beach? We should go there," anything that reveals promise of future encounter.
And what constitutes a successful "close"? I'll leave that up to your imagination.
These are just a few examples of the ways The Game instructs its readers to scramble female self-defense mechanisms. I would strongly recommend that women on this campus acquaint themselves, even if vaguely, with the other ideas.
Particularly since Penn boys are no strangers to its manipulation techniques.
"I know a few guys who do use some of the "lessons" from The Game and I've seen it work for them," Wharton sophomore Shawn Woodhull told me. "But it seems pretty sketch to me, especially since the methods of the book. don't lead to healthy, real relationships. There just seem to be many things innately wrong with tricking girls into sleeping with you."
"Hell yeah, I read that book," stated one College sophomore. "Everyone in my frat reads it, but it takes a certain type of guy to actually use it."
For the sketchos who "actually use it," however, it would do them good to realize that life isn't just a series of one-night stands. Once a relationship is fostered, if it gets to that point, The Game's manipulation will only take you so far.
Falsely projected images are no basis for future happiness. And in a society that is becoming increasingly artificial, we need to safeguard the last frontier of true worth and sincerity: our intimate relationships.
As for the peahens who actually fall for this manipulation, educate yourselves. Otherwise, wise up. Demand no respect, and you get none.
Michaela Tolpin is a College sophomore from North Caldwell, NJ. Her e-mail address is tolpin@dailypennsylvanian.com. Tuesdays with Michaela appears on Tuesdays.
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