Saving the world and getting paid for it may only be a pinprick, x-ray or survey away. Whether you're strapped for cash this holiday season or simply looking to get on Santa's good list, go out and volunteer for a Penn research study.
At first glance, the transformation from student to experimental subject may seem daunting. After all, God knows what modern-day Dr. Mengeles are lurking in the shadows, leaping at the chance to unleash their sadistic concoctions on student guinea pigs.
If you've been following the news lately, you've probably read tidings of unethical Penn Dermatology research on illiterate inmates decades ago. In 1999, gene therapy testing at Penn led to the first death of a human subject in that research area.
Yet in the wake of these incidents, lessons have been learned. According to Institutional Research Board director Yvonne Higgins, researchers must report back to compliance committees, scientific peers and a panoply of official organizations.
Preliminary research is almost always conducted in labs and on animals before it ever reach humans, which in itself is an elaborate and drawn-out process.
And being a guinea pig has its benefits. "You can learn something of interest, while you might learn something about yourself," Higgins said.
According to Greg Fromell, the executive director of the Office of Human Research, being part of a research study also gives you a glimpse into the process of research itself.
More than that, it advances human knowledge and enables scientific breakthroughs that save lives. If you were a pre-med wanna-be who dropped out after a dismal semester in Chem 101, you can still contribute to medical research without having to crack open an Orgo textbook or drudge through years of residency.
Even so, getting involved in a research study conforms with the idea of participatory democracy. You vote, you recycle and you volunteer out of a general civic-minded spirit. Like these acts, participating in scientific research is a small token that improves the public good.
Suppose you decide to donate bone marrow to Penn's Hematology Department for leukemia research. After you contact a research coordinator, who makes sure that you're both healthy and eligible, you come in and sign an informed consent form that tells you al l about the study: the purpose, procedures, risks and benefits. It's not a contract; you can drop out at any time.
While you're responsible for understanding the risks, you always control your level of involvement.
During the clinical nitty gritty, a nurse applies a local anesthetic and draws out a small sample of marrow through your hipbone. According to research coordinator Joy Cannon, it feels like a "bee sting."
And you're out in 30-45 minutes. Still enough time to grab a cup of coffee before your next class.
Sure, you could donate blood or marrow as part of a drive. But these donations also involve restrictions based on your sexual activity or travel history.
And for the especially paranoid, you can sign up for non-invasive or observational studies, like sleep research and social psychology.
According to Higgins, some researchers at Penn are investigating ideas from Robert Putnam's book Bowling Alone. Others test methods in cognitive therapy or the positive effects of exercise on emotional well-being.
Even better, most studies will compensate you for your trouble.
Quite handsomely, too. If you're more Whartonite than idealist, clinical research is not a bad way to spend your time. According to Cannon, the 45 minutes it takes to complete a bone- marrow donation to the Hematology Department can earn you $90 flat. For more lengthy or involved trials that require in-patient monitoring, you could earn thousands over the course of two or three days. Even studies in Psych or Marketing can pay more than minimum wage -- or that work-study job of yours.
Whether you have altruistic or avaricious ends in mind, getting involved in one of the 1,200 or so human-research studies at Penn isn't a bad idea (provided you accept the risks).
As an experimental volunteer, you can push back the frontiers of human knowledge and treat yourself to a Black Friday shopping splurge to boot.
Elizabeth Song is a junior from Clemmons, N.C. Her e-mail address is song@dailypennsylvanian.com. Striking a Chord appears on alternating Wednesdays.
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