Michaela Tolpin | Spooning with strangers

Cuddle parties.

Until accidentally picking up an old New York Times this past summer, I had never even imagined that such a thing could exist.

But there it was, wedged under a photo of happily intertwined people lying on pillows and holding hands: an invitation to a cuddle party taking place right in the heart of inhospitable Manhattan.

According to the accompanying short description, a cuddle party is a alcohol-free "workshop ... where people meet to explore communication, boundaries, intimacy and nonsexual touch and expressions of affection." It also gave a Web site. I logged on to cuddleparty.com immediately . for intellectual-research purposes.

The only way to describe the Web site is happy. Excessively happy. "Can Cuddle Party restore your faith in humanity?" cuddleparty.com asked. "It just might."

I learned that participants in these open events are called "cuddle monsters" who wear pajamas when cuddling, that "puppy pile-ups" entail cuddle monsters piling on top of other cuddle monsters and that these parties are taking place in towns and cities across the United States.

What has our society come to?

Call me closed-minded, but somehow I can't come to terms with the idea of institutionalized spooning.

For those of us who were held as children, which I hope to be most, it is needless for me to explain the importance of human contact and compassion.

But shouldn't we be finding it without shelling out the forty bucks?

That said, I can understand the purpose of these cuddle parties. In numerous urban societies, including that of our very own campus, sex has become just, well, sex. For many, the emotional component has been largely diminished, if not eliminated altogether. Physical intimacy is no longer necessarily an expression of our emotional needs.

For those of you who are happily plowing along with your flourishing sex lives, I applaud you. If you're happy, that's great. Please, plow on.

But the problem is that, as demonstrated by the existence of cuddle parties, not everyone is content with the hook-up lifestyle. Something's lacking in this way of life, something that 10 keg stands and a faceless guy/girl/lamppost simply do not fulfill.

In introducing the idea of cuddle parties to as many different people around campus as I could, the initial response was always somewhere along the lines of "Are you serious?" After describing the set up of these events, the question of sexual arousal would naturally come up, most particularly when it came to the male anatomy (no pun intended.).

Although cuddle-party facilitators (called Cuddle Lifeguards) are to try their utmost to ensure the easy dispersal of all sexual tension, certain biological factors tend to get in the way. In such instances "erections become Mother Nature's way of giving us a thumbs-up sign. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's dirty. Nothing's suspect. As long as you're not dry-humping anyone (Rule #7), it's completely okay," the Web site states.

If arousal is such an issue at cuddle parties, then there is little doubt that humans inherently associate cuddling with sexual desire. Ideally, your cuddle partner and your sexual partner are one and the same. Problems generally arise when such is not the case.

I don't mean for this to be a doomsday report. Most of us on this campus are consenting adults who are perfectly capable of managing our sex lives, and a monastic 1950s lifestyle isn't for everyone. The human libido exists; anyone who argues the opposite is most likely your grandmother in disguise.

But after centuries of paying for sex, we are now paying for pajama-clad hugs.

In today's society there is unfortunately a gap between physical and emotional fulfillment. Although an adult's sexual lifestyle is his or her own business, in the end even the most promiscuous frat guy needs to be held.

Preferably without paying forty bucks.

Michaela Tolpin is a College sophomore from North Caldwell, N.J. Her e-mail address is tolpin@dailypennsylvanian.com. Tuesdays with Michaela appears on Tuesdays.

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