Ali Jackson | College life takes the dating out of romance

One weekend, not too long ago, I met a guy.

He asked for my number, and two days later he called me. Three days after that, he showed up at my door at 8 p.m. on the dot and took me out to dinner and a movie. Afterward, he walked me back to my room and kissed me goodnight.

Since that day, I have not been on a date.

When was this? Sept. 16, 2005.

Now, just because I haven't gone on a date in just about a year doesn't mean that I haven't seen anyone or even had boyfriends.

In fact, I've probably done more of that in this past year than in the three previous ones combined. So, why in all this time of "dating," have I not gone on an actual date?

The answer is simple: College kills the date.

College junior Shayne Wagman, creator of the Facebook.com group "Students for the Resurrection of the Ancient Art of Dating," defines the date as a "casual way to get to know someone." Wagman feels that college students "jump into relationships too quickly," adding that nobody thinks that just dating is an option. It's either casually hook up or get serious.

Is she right?

Think back to the first date you ever went on; for me, it was the summer before sixth grade. There was a boy that was just the dreamiest thing my pigtails had ever seen. One day, I returned home to find a note in my mailbox: "Ali: Movies on Friday night? Circle yes or no - Josh." Giggling uncontrollably, I made a quick circle around "yes" and ran across the street to slide it under his door.

That Friday, my parents accompanied me to the theater and met up with Josh and his 20-year old sister - because he was way too cool for parents. They sat five rows behind us, probably watching our hands inch closer and closer together, and then after the movie they stood 10 feet away while we awkwardly said goodbye.

From that night on, I went on numerous dates throughout my childhood. Then, suddenly, on Aug. 30, 2005, the day I moved into my freshman dorm, it all came to a screeching halt.

Engineering sophomore Kevin Rakszawski attributes this abrupt change to the "obsession with hooking up in college." People feel the need to hook up as much as possible because that's what one does in college, or so they've heard.

In middle and high school, while still living with your parents, the only way to be alone without adults around was to leave the house. As a result, you developed countless ways to do this: the movies, bowling, bonfires, dinner or even the occasional lunch. Each outing was an excuse to escape the watchful eye of your parents in order to, well, you know.

It's not that high-school boys are more gentlemanly - please, they have the maturity of, well, a high-school boy; they're just very motivated in their quest for girls and, more importantly, alone time with those girls.

So, it makes sense that once that problem disappears, so does the solution. In college, you no longer have to worry about parents looking over your shoulder every moment of the day.

Having a guy over to your bedroom, or going over to his, is commonplace. This isn't because college girls suddenly become easy, but rather because for most people, your room is your house. Your bed becomes a sofa, your desk a dinner table and your television is the new movie theater.

So with all this freedom right in your own home, why on earth should anyone come pick you up and go somewhere else, most likely spending money in the process?

They shouldn't. And guess what? They don't.

Instead of calling to ask you out on a date, a college guy will invite you to a party or to hang out at his place. And thus the death of the date as we knew and loved it.

I'm not saying these new college "dates" are worse than the dates of yesteryear, just that a good old-fashioned date would be a nice change of pace. Sure, I enjoy bopping to loud music, screaming to be heard and drinking frat-house beer (read: foam) as much as the next girl.

Still, every once and a while, having a boy take the time to pick me up, pay for my meal and kiss me goodnight at my door would really make me smile. Call me old school, but I vote for a revival of the date. Let's bring it back from the dead. And while we're at it, let's work on snap bracelets and glitter, too.

Ali Jackson is a Wharton and College sophomore from Cardiff, Calif. Her e-mail address is jackson@dailypennsylvanian.com. All Talk and One Jackson appears on Mondays.

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