Senioritis strains abound

I am a junior with too many friends who are graduating. Thus, I have become infected with second-hand senioritis. I work less, drink more, update my resume every week and go to Greek Lady every day to savor the "memories" of my beloved Italian hoagie.

For the next month, college senioritis will be epidemic. This senioritis is different from what we all experienced at the end of high school. College senioritis is more varied and drunken than what went down four years ago.

To figure out how to deal with my symptoms, I decided to talk to some real-life seniors and see how they were coping. My frantic questioning led me to realize that there are many types of senioritis strains infecting our campus.

People with "chill senioritis" are totally calm. You can't bother them. Don't bother trying. The chilled senior is the envy of all other seniors because he confidently roams around campus doing whatever the hell he wants.

Scott Fishman is one such chilled senior in the College. His senioritis has propelled him to "go out and sample as many different flavors as I can," he said. "I just want to hang out and do nothing ... live in the moment as much as I can."

People like chill College senior Courtney Nagel relish these final weeks of class, when "you just feel you can do whatever you want, see the people you want to spend time with and do what you really want to do."

People with "stressed senioritis" have weightier worries than we ever did at the end of high school. Whether looking for a job, a grad school, a loan bail-out or those final enjoyable moments of college, stressed seniors are the George Costanzas of college.

Rachel Moskowitz, a board-certified stressed College senior, described these final weeks as "a turning point. ... Things are going to change, and I'm really not ready for it."

The odd thing about stressed seniors is that they are often among the most talented people here. But the prospect of job hunting, waiting for grad-school acceptances or moving somewhere is just too nerve racking.

"Friend-hugging senioritis" is subtle and hard to diagnose. Friend-huggers have a quiet list in their heads of their closest friends and those that they know they will see in the future.

"I know people that are making efforts to hang around with only people they know they will see again," said Adeline Cheng, a Wharton senior who knows many friend-huggers.

Naturally, friend-huggers prioritize their friends over their acquaintances. Before you realize it, you haven't seen a friend-hugger in ages and you probably won't before you graduate.

The "spouse-hunting senioritis" is the most divisive.

According to Fishman, some seniors "get freaked out that they haven't found the person that they are supposed to be with in college."

Seniors afflicted with this condition react oddly because they believe they are doomed to be spinsters because they haven't found their special someones by age 22.

"Some people get ring crazy," he said.

College senior Cristina Suroiu said she knows "couples who broke up at the beginning or middle of senior year. The circumstances differed, but in the background people were asking, 'Is this long term? Are we getting engaged?'"

The great thing about college is that we're usually a lot more mature than when we had our last bout of senioritis.

"We're all prepared to go forward, and we're all going to succeed," said College senior Spencer Schrage. "It's the cliche part of growing up. Once you allow yourself to reflect, you do a better job of assessing who you want in your life. It's a cool experience."

No matter what kind of senior you are, the fact that you got this far means that you're probably going to succeed. You will probably find a job, a grad school, a spouse and have a great final few weeks.

After surveying the variety of senioritis strains floating around this campus, I felt a lot better about my early-onset symptoms. For seniors and their friends, these last weeks of college can be an emotional roller coaster.

But don't worry. You're not riding it alone.

Eric Obenzinger is a junior history major from New York. Quaker Shaker appears on Wednesdays.

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