Mastering the art of 'garying'

When it comes to Australian slang, terms such as "g'day," "mate" and "barbie" immediately come to mind. But none of these do anything for us up here -- except the newest piece of Aussie slang: "the gary."

If you'd like to improve your game, then you owe it to yourself to become familiar with this term. But first off, let's separate fact from fiction.

Rumor has it that Aussie guys enjoy so much success with women because of their sexy accents. After all, how many Penn girls have you heard professing their love for Australian-twanged Psychology lecturer Andrew Shatte?

But it is not the accent, but rather the gary which helps Aussie guys close the deal when chatting with women.

"Last year was my best year ever, and I'd say it was 10 percent accent, 90 percent gary, mate," said Australia native Daniel Cowen, who attends the University of Melbourne.

So what is it?

The gary, or garying, is the Australian approach to talking to women. In popular slang, the term means "to lay the groundwork."

Groundwork for what?

"For a future endeavor in which you make your intentions clear," said David Smerdon, a fifth-year student at the University of Melbourne who has quite a reputation among the ladies, despite going bald.

The logic of the gary is very simple: Talk to the girl in order to get to know her, not to have sex with her. The former enables the latter.

"The gary was definitely the enabler of my success," said Chris Brett-Young, a finance and law student from Melbourne who toured the United States earlier this semester. He managed to hook up with a handful of women during his five-city tour up and down the East Coast -- two of whom were at Penn.

So it works. But how? Consider the following example:

A Wharton junior who studied in Australia decided to gary a cute girl whom he met at a hot-tub party. While everyone was sitting in the hot tub, playing a game called "suck and blow" -- actually a very innocent game -- he sat in the distance, talking with the girl for more than two and a half hours, just getting to know her.

Less than a week later, the two were in a relationship, and before he left Australia she told him that she loved him.

Back at Penn, he attended a party at which he noticed a cute girl with large breasts. So he went up to her and said, "Hey, I'm really glad that you and your tits decided to show up." That didn't get him anything substantial.

In the first instance, he garried, in the second he did not. The difference is clear: Getting to know a girl -- just chatting, with no ulterior motives -- can get one much further than being upfront.

But, as with most things, it comes down to individual taste. Some prefer directness, while for others, the subtle, indirect nature of the gary is perfect for their tastes and manners.

"American guys are definitely more direct and aggressive than Australian guys, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. You get tired of guys coming up to you and saying, 'Oh, our puppies would get along,' or, 'Oh, we have matching towels,'" said Diana Kant, an Australian who prefers a certain degree of directness in guys.

Indeed, assertiveness can be an asset, which is why the gary has such great potential in the United States. For if American males tend to be too aggressive and direct in dealing with women, then a moderate dose of gary would place them in the ideal position between the two extremes.

But it's not just assertiveness. An important part of garying successfully involves being yourself.

"My most successful garies come when I'm just being myself," said Brett-Young, the fifth-year Melbourne student. "Doing so allows your real personality to shine through."

On the contrary, in the United States playing the game often involves putting on a show -- being whoever it is that you think the girl you're talking with would like to talk to.

While this chameleon approach has its perks, it rarely lays the proper groundwork for anything substantive. And first impressions tend to stick, even when the chameleon persona is no longer wanted or needed.

So what's a modern guy to do? Learn from the Aussies.

"The gary is an important part of the mating ritual in modern times," Smerdon said. So important, in fact, that it's well worth imitating.

Cezary Podkul is a junior philosophy major from Franklin Park, Ill. Return of the Salad appears on Tuesdays.

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