My life, my career, my choice

If you want to piss off generations of accomplished Ivy League women, call Louise Story and ask her for some advice.

In a recent New York Times article entitled "Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood," Story reports that "many" women graduating from Ivy League and other high-ranking institutions plan to opt out of the professional world in order to pursue their true callings as wives and mothers.

After I read this article, I immediately thought of my closest friends. Two of them were completing cover letters and resumes for top consulting firms. One was studying for the LSAT, and one was busy reading cases as a first-year student at Georgetown Law. Though we occasionally discuss our desires to someday start a family, not getting pregnant is a much more likely topic of conversation. I wondered, would we really be doing all this work just to give it up in a few short years? I think not. So who are these "many" women?

One lives in the Quad. This summer, before she had even set foot on campus, college freshman Uzezi Abugo received a message via thefacebook.com from Louise Story.

The message, according to Abugo, read something like this:

"I am writing an article about women at top schools around the country who are considering being stay at home mothers after they complete their education. If you believe you fall in this category and are open to doing an interview, please contact me"

Even if we choose to ignore the fact that a Columbia Journalism School graduate is conducting surveys using thefacebook.com, there is a bigger issue here. Story is alienating women who have no idea what they are going to be doing 10 years from now. What 18-year-old really has any clue what her life will be like at 30? Add the inevitable bias that comes from a self-selecting survey, and you have results that are not only imprecise, but misleading.

Abugo, who does plan to stay at home with her children during their formative years, agrees that children can be raised effectively if both parents work. "It just makes it harder," she says. In terms of going back to work after having kids, she feels that "it's a personal choice." In the Times article, Abugo is quoted as saying she has "seen the difference between kids who did have their mother stay at home and kids who didn't." After speaking with her for less than 10 minutes, I learned that her perspective is broader than Story conveys. She is a smart, driven, 17-year-old girl who is still figuring things out.

Then there is the issue of class. Story studied a specific group of individuals, many of whom are wealthy and will end up marrying wealthy men. Some of the students she quotes stress that they want to raise their kids themselves, presumably without the help of nannies.

Well, let it be known, it is possible to hold down a job and be your children's primary care-giver. Just ask the average American woman. Deciding not to have a nanny is by no means noble or admirable, especially since the decision is already made for the majority of women who simply cannot afford one. And has anyone read The Nanny Diaries? Women who work are not the only ones who hire nannies to help with their children. Let's get that misconception out of our heads.

Ladies, let's speak for ourselves.

If there's one thing I know about Penn women, it's that we do whatever it takes to fulfill our dreams -- that is how we got this far in the first place. Many of us will be leaders in the professional world, many of us will raise beautiful families, and many of us will do both. My hope is that we strive to make the decisions that work in our particular situations and support and respect each other's choices. Louise Story was wrong. Many women at elite colleges set our career path to the beat of our own drum. We refuse to be generalized.

Titilola Bakare is a senior English major from Harrisburg, Pa. Notes from the Underground appears on Thursdays.

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