Insurance sharks

Call me cheap, but I like to get the most bang for my buck. So last year, when the University announced that the premium for the Penn Student Insurance Plan would go up 10.2 percent from $1,880 to $2,072, I naturally thought: Gee, now I'll need $2,072 worth of hospitalizations, maladies and visits to the doctor in order to break even. Of course I wasn't going to try to get hit by a bus just so that I could make Aetna cough up some of my parents' money. Rather, I made a list of ailments, cosmetic and otherwise, that I'd like to have my insurance cover -- the "Cezary Improvement Project," akin to Penn's "Agenda for Excellence." All that resulted from it were a few visits to the optometrist and a dermatologist, along with some "disputed" co-pays. That's right. I stood up to the Man. I fought the good fight. But when the smoke cleared, I realized the sad truth: I had barely made a dent in Aetna's coffers.

Last week, the University announced a proposal that would raise the PSIP premium by 6.3 percent, which would place the cost of the insurance plan at about $2,202.

This aggression will not stand, man.

There is no way that the increase in the cost of the PSIP can be justified, given the utter lack of corresponding increase in benefits. Thus, although I find sympathy with many of the University's claims regarding the rising cost of insurance premiums, I refuse to believe that paying higher premiums is our only option -- especially considering other universities' reasonable health insurance costs and flexible plan options.

Let's look at the numbers. If the proposed cost increase passes, then next year my insurance will cost me a full $525 more than it did my freshman year. For that kind of price hike, I obviously expect better benefits. Yet, over the years, as I've periodically come to Student Health Services with various maladies, I've not noticed any significant expansion in coverage, quality of the service or length of the referral process. No marginal benefits, either -- not even a candy dish or cookie jar in the reception area, for goodness' sake. On the contrary, given the frequent horror stories I've heard from many friends, a strong case could be made that the quality of Student Health Services is actually deteriorating.

So why charge more?

To find out, I attended the insurance discussion last week sponsored by the Graduate and Professional Student Assembly. I understood the fact that Penn does not own the insurance industry and thus has little control over rising prices. I also understood that the University must balance the needs of many students to make sure that everyone will be able to get the coverage he may need in case of an emergency. What I didn't understand was the attitude of the Student Health Insurance Advisory Committee that this is an issue of "damage control" -- that is, keeping the inevitable insurance hikes as low as possible. According to their logic, I should be happy that the increase was only 6.3 percent rather than 10 or 15 percent. Wow, I feel so much better -- I'm getting screwed, but less than I possibly could be.

Granted, keeping the price hikes low is a step in the right direction, but if being happy with single-digit increases on an already-extortionary insurance premium is our standard of excellence, then it's obvious that we need new standards for comparison. At Princeton, for instance, Tony the Tiger can get a student insurance plan for a fee of $810 for the entire 2004-05 school year. At Dartmouth, when Keggy the Keg needs to get his stomach pumped, his $1,360 annual student health insurance plan will surely help him out. Yale: $924. Cornell: $1,202. Harvard: $1,448. Granted, one can't say that all of these university-sponsored health insurance plans are of equal quality, but to the average student who just wants to get some kind of insurance coverage so that he can be taken off of registration hold, it really doesn't matter. What matters most is fulfilling the University's health insurance requirement, doing so at the lowest possible price and moving on with one's life.

The best way to fulfill this objective is to be more flexible with student health insurance plans. Some universities offer plans with customizable mixes of deductibles, co-pays and premiums of various amounts to fit the preferred level of coverage that a student wants. Others offer at least a choice between basic and comprehensive coverage, both of which fulfill the insurance requirement. Penn could definitely use some of that flexibility so that bang-for-buck tightwads such as me who do not believe in the very concept of insurance, as well as more cautious students, can get satisfactory coverage and move on with their lives.

Next year, I'm not putting up with the price hikes. Nor am I going to find/create $2,202 worth of health problems to get my money's worth -- I'd have time for nothing else. I'm just not going to sign up for the PSIP. And I heartily suggest you do the same.

Cezary Podkul is a junior management and philosophy major in Wharton and the College from Chicago, Ill. Cezary Salad appears on Mondays.

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