Being responsible

To the Editor:

Attending the Take Back The Night vigil the other evening, I was saddened to observe that some young women are still coming to school conditioned in ways that set them up for emotional trauma.

An example was the testimony of one participant. The experience she described as rape had not involved force, nor deception. It had involved alcohol -- presumably consumed by her sex partner as well -- with the result that part of her night's experience hadn't become long-term memory. Perhaps she'd incorrectly inferred, because she didn't remember the intercourse, that she'd been unconscious. But that's not how alcoholic blackouts work.

The real root of her distress was suggested by the way she described the call she'd received the following day. Because the man was worried she may have had an STD, she concluded he was painting her as "some kind of slut."

Let me say it plainly: There is no such thing as a "slut." If you choose to have casual sex, this no more makes you bad if you're a woman than if you're a man. Likewise, if you drink to loosen up -- the only reason people drink at parties -- this no more reduces your responsibility if you're a woman than if you're a man. The consequences are certainly not "your fault," or anyone else's. They're two people's having a good time together, which is not wrong to begin with.

As Beverly Dale said at the vigil, there is power in truth. We can only benefit from embracing the truth we learn from what we do while disinhibited, rather than deny it and pretend it was someone else's imposition.

Eric Hamell

College '84

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