Childish behavior from our athletes

As I sat in seat 16A on my flight back from the Midwest this Thanksgiving, I heard something all childless travelers dread coming down the aisle:

"Mommy, no!"

"Sweetie, please, keep moving."

"MOMMY!"

"Honey, look for our aisle number. There's seven, eight -- can you find 16? Where's 16, pumpkin?"

"NOOOOOO!"

Oh for the love of God, no.

I am not the nurturing type. One of my most frequent rants, to the uneasiness of my parents, is that I hate kids. And not because I don't remember being a kid -- I do. And I was really, really annoying.

I'm an equal opportunity hater, despising kids of all types -- boys and girls, every size and shape, all the Billys and Bobbys and Janies and Ron Artests. The Stephen Jacksons and the Jermaine O'Neals. The Ben Wallaces. All those stupid, whiny, immature, brainless little brats. I can't stand them.

Yes, the big Pistons-Pacers basketball game brawl was a real blast from the grade school past. Somehow these grown men decided that in front of a stadium full of people, a nation watching at home, their bosses, under blazing stadium lighting, in front of camera after camera of running tape, they could justify decking the drunk morons in the stands. It's almost unbelievable to me that a person could be so out of control that he would lose it in an environment where he'll obviously be caught. I say almost because for professional athletes, there's always a decent chance that they'll be able weasel their way out of trouble.

This is the most childish part of the whole thing. Year after year, the violent antics of professional athletes enjoy a brief spotlight before, after much coddling by the legal system, their coaches and the media, their crimes slip into the background. Mike Tyson, Leonard Little, Darrell Russell, Ray Lewis, Jeff Nelson, Francisco Rodriguez -- the list is extensive and includes charges of drug possession, rape, assault, drunk driving and, of course, traffic violations. Charges are constantly being reduced, and prosecutors repeatedly, mysteriously drop their cases. Is it intimidation or blind adoration? Even while I looked over figures projected by a USA Today Web site, which showed that out of 168 allegations of sexual abuse against professional athletes, only 22 went to court and only six were convicted, Jason Kidd, who once socked his wife in the mouth, was smirking at me from a "Got Milk?" ad. They seem unstoppable.

Of course, this phenomenon has not been kept off college campuses. Bob Costas, an NBC sportscaster, spoke last month at Penn about the corruption endemic in college athletics -- preferential treatment, relaxed academic requirements. He called the problem "irredeemable." The same problems result; take the huge debacle at the football game between the University of South Carolina and Clemson University, which occurred the day after the NBA basketbrawl. Players punched and kicked one another, Clemson player Yusef Kelly threw a South Carolina helmet into the stands and Clemson's David Dunham crowed, "We won the game and the fight."

Nothing so violent has happened recently in conjunction with any of our Penn athletes, but a lot of talk has been going on about poor attendance at our football games. I would like to submit a new theory about why this is the case.

Several people I know and I have had extremely unpleasant interactions with Penn football players. The worst was freshman year, as I was walking home late at night and came upon three sizable football players, all screaming insults and violent threats at two boys across the street who were holding hands, calling them every homophobic slur in the book. I felt extremely uncomfortable having to walk in front of them the rest of the way home, and it would not be the last time I felt intimidated by their behavior.

Though the entire football team does not collectively behave poorly, a few bad apples have ruined the barrel for me, and I've avoided all football games. Maybe it is just big-talking and catcalling. But the behavior I've seen on campus, combined with the conduct of aforementioned professional athletes, makes me uneasy.

I love Eagles football. We pay athletes millions of dollars to entertain us on game day, not to be good human beings. But no one is above the law. Even if you get off the hook, get off the shoe ads. There are real kids watching you. Are these antics just boys being boys? Fine. Then go back to grade school. Learn some manners. Grow up.

Jessica Lussenhop is a senior English major from St. Paul, Minn. Textual Revolution appears on Fridays.

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