Congratulations! You have begun your first year at Penn. You've started your classes, you've begun making friends and you've attended 1, 927 information sessions on topics like "Academic Integrity and You" and "Moderate Drinker or Alcoholic: Where do You Fall on the Scale?" And, after two weeks, you've learned a few things -- the thrill of eating ice cream at every meal does wear off. Penn students really do shake hands every time they introduce themselves, even at drunken frat parties. And college feels a lot like summer camp, except during midterms and final exams, when it feels more like hell. Just kidding. Sort of.
Having mastered the basics, you're ready to move on to the next stage: learning to live with a roommate. For many Penn students, college is the first time they've lived in the same room as someone else. As a resident advisor, I have seen roommate situations range from bosom buddies to barely speaking. Here are some tips to help ensure smooth sailing:
1. Get to know your roommate. Discuss your backgrounds, your high school experiences and the factors that influenced your decision to attend Penn. These conversations will help you to understand each other and to foresee potential areas of conflict.
2. You would be amazed at how quickly pyromania sours a roommate relationship. No matter how good an idea it seems, do NOT set your roommate's belongings on fire. Inexplicably, this comes up every year. More generally, respect your roommate's property.
3. Do not expect your roommate to become your best friend. Pursue outside interests and foster friendships with other people. Give your roommate space, and accept that everyone has bad days. At the same time, if you are doing something fun in your room (e.g., watching a movie, playing a game), invite your roommate to join in.
4. Bathe at least every other day. Clean up after yourself. Do your dishes right after you finish eating, and take out the trash at least twice per week.
5. Respect your roommate's sleep and study time. If your roommate is asleep or studying, do not invite guests into the room without his permission. Use a small study lamp and headphones.
6. Don't sweat the small stuff. If the annoyance is minor, see if you can ignore it, compromising within your comfort level. For example, I once had a roommate who was wonderful in every way except for one frustrating habit -- she cracked her knuckles constantly. Not only her knuckles, but her knees, her ankles, her back, her toes, etc. After privately seething for two weeks (okay, so I can be a little high-strung), I decided to let it go. It wasn't worth spoiling an otherwise great relationship. And, one month in, I started cracking my knuckles myself. If you can't beat "em, join "em.
7. Look out for your roommate. If she has an exam at 9 a.m. and you notice it's 8:30, wake her up. If your roommate is having personal trouble, try to help him out yourself, talk to your RA or refer him to a campus resource.
8. Your RA or GA is there to help you. Use him as a resource.
9. Hall booty is bad booty. Romantic relationships with people on your hall rarely work out, and when you break up, it results in awkwardness for everyone.
10. Two roommates dating the same person is a situation that has never ended happily in the history of human existence. Don't even try it. I once knew two female roommates who began dating the same guy. "It's casual," they each explained to me, "and we have an understanding." That "understanding" was short-lived -- they were at each other's throats within three days.
11. Don't let yourself become a doormat. Compromising is important, but if something really bothers you, address it in a calm, courteous way. If you're concerned that the conversation won't be courteous, write your roommate a brief letter, or ask your RA to mediate the discussion.
12. On a given floor, there are sometimes one or two freshmen who try to prove how cool they are by hosting loud parties, trashing the common areas and generally being inconsiderate at 4 a.m. Be aware that no matter how cool these individuals pretend to be, every student at Penn was a dork in high school. These individuals are simply overcompensating for their high school dorkiness, which was probably more profound than most people's.
13. Don't give your roommates "the silent treatment."
14. Ask before borrowing anything.
15. Most of all, embrace your roommate experience. Learning to be a good roommate is a skill that will benefit you throughout your life. Having a roommate is a wonderful way to learn about different types of people and different life experiences, which is exactly what college is about. Good luck!
Jennifer Weiss is a senior Linguistics and Theatre Arts major from Los Angeles. War On Error appears on Wednesdays.
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