Does wanting to own a gun make me crazy?

I have friends. I don't like finals. I like rock music. I complain when it gets cold and snowy. I really like weekends. I watch Monday Night Football. I'm a pretty normal Penn kid. So why do people look at me funny when I say I want a shotgun for my birthday? I don't have a criminal background, and I don't have a psychological disorder. I just want a shotgun, and it's completely within my legal rights to obtain one. Can people stop yelling at me for what a lunatic I am?

Go to a shooting range sometime, and tell me it's not exhilarating. It's the same reason why Americans like powerful cars, powerful tools and powerful people: more power. The incredible sensation of having the cold steel in your hands is just ... awesome. When I hit a duck, a deer or a clay pigeon, it's very much like when you score a touchdown, hit a home run or ace your finance midterm. It gives me a sense of success, of accomplishment, of pride.

It's also a great escape from society. It's like accountants painting their faces, dressing up in armor and riding Harley-Davidson motorcycles to go to Oakland Raiders football games. Or like my roommate dancing to Paula Abdul in women's underwear. Some people like skiing, others like watching movies -- I happen to like hunting. Most college students usually have an attitude of, hey, whatever floats your boat. So why is this so different?

I want a Benelli M4. Go ahead, Google it. It's the official issue of the U.S. Armed Services. Tell me that's not awesome -- I can have the same gun as the Marines are using. It's like people who buy officially licensed sports gear. They pay more for an authentic Allen Iverson jersey and think, wow, I'm wearing what Allen Iverson is wearing. Or they drink Powerade because LeBron James drinks Powerade, or wear Reebok because Shaq wears Reebok. Face it, we're all suckers for marketing, and this type of marketing happens to appeal to me.

Many people say that I don't really need a shotgun with a scope and night vision, powerful enough to blow holes through walls. That's probably true, but come on, plenty of other people buy useless crap because they like it. Let's think about what I genuinely need here: oxygen, water, some clothes, an occasional beer. What else is really, really necessary for life to continue, for basic survival? DVD players and Xboxes for a sports utility vehicle are a lot more radical than my wanting a shotgun. Go looking through a girl's closet and see how many unnecessary pairs of shoes she has. It makes me happy, damn it, and it's a free country.

I'm a card-carrying member of the National Rifle Association. I happen to like the organization, because it values its members and is extremely well-run -- and because I genuinely believe that "an armed society is a polite society." So because you don't like it, I'm a Second Amendment fanatic? Why aren't critics of President George W. Bush labeled "First Amendment fanatics" instead of "responsible journalists"? Now that I think about it, I'm not sure being a fanatic about our beloved Constitution is such a bad thing. What's wrong with defending a document that has governed the greatest country in the history of the world? Apparently the Supreme Court, Congress, the Pennsylvania state legislature, the governor and the Philadelphia police department all think it's okay to carry a gun, so who are you to tell me otherwise?

When I buy a gun, I'll be a well-educated individual exercising his constitutional freedom. I'll be well-trained in gun usage, and will have had significant practice with all its features. I will have a safety lock, and will have it locked up in a place where no children (or childish roommates) can access it. I will not carry a gun at a courthouse or at a primary or secondary school. I will understand all the gun laws pertaining to our commonwealth, and will get a gun legally through a reputable dealer after going through a background check. If I want to carry my gun on my person, I will pay the $19 it takes to apply for a concealed weapon license, and if that gets rejected, I won't carry my gun unless I'm allowed to under one of the exceptions under the law. I will, in short, be just as responsible of an American as I am today.

All I'm saying here is you don't have to like me for owning a gun; you can even think I'm totally stupid for wasting my money on a $1,600 decorative piece for my room. But when, one day, I buy a gun, I won't be any crazier than I was the day before. I'm no more likely to kill you, or anyone, solely because I have a gun -- nor is anyone else more likely to kill you, or anyone else, solely because I have a gun. So stop calling me a lunatic. At least, call me a lunatic for a better reason than my wanting a gun.

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