Zachary Noyce: Looking past SATs for the Class of '08

Frankly, I'm feeling a little insulted. Once again, I've been outdone. And this time, so have you. According to the University admissions office, next year's incoming class will be the best we've had. That's quite a distinction for a group that does not yet exist.

But that slight technicality aside, I have some serious concerns about this revelation. I think the admissions office owes us an apology.

Then an explanation.

This situation is nothing new. The University declares each incoming class the most qualified ever. The students are always better and brighter than the ones who came before. It's probably not justified, but I can't help but get a little down on myself about this kind of information. No, I'm not about to stuff my face with two gallons of double-triple-chocolate ice cream while watching Platoon on a continuous loop, but I've been happier before.

I just can't get over the depressing feeling that by the time I'm a senior, I'm going to be the stupidest person on campus.

I keep feeling the inescapable doom of my present and future failures. Because of this feeling, I've been extra self-conscious lately. Thinking about the best way to articulate my ideas. Criticizing myself for dozing off in lecture. Making sure that I spell every word right in my e-mails. Writing in complete sentences.

It's the same story every year -- the incoming class has higher SATs, better GPAs, more AP and IB classes. I wonder, though, if this alphabet soup of academia pushes us to some incorrect conclusions. From where I stand, these improvements are a good sign, but I can't decide for the life of me if these statistics prove Mark Twain's assertion or if they represent a real trend toward a smarter student population.

But at the same time SAT scores are hitting the ceiling, excitement about knowledge seems to be hitting the floor. We've heard all the figures -- lowest voter turnout ever (which of course must be our fault and not the candidates'), fewer people involved in community groups, and disgraceful ignorance about key societal issues.

While I juxtapose the ideas in my mind, I can't help but wonder if there is, in fact, a sad inverse relationship between knowing and caring. Does knowing the formal definition of a derivative mean that you can't care that the person standing outside Wawa cannot afford his dinner? Does worrying about sexism mean that you can't know what ignominious means or write it without a spell-checker?

Call me idealistic. Call me old-fashioned. I always had this crazy impression that college was about education for the sake of making people smarter. In our glorification of a group of applicants much smarter than those of previous years, I fear we may be praising a trend of the rich getting richer -- or at least the smart getting smarter.

I wonder what that great, wise, innovative deity (or curmudgeonly, old womanizer, if you ask someone not affiliated with Penn) Ben Franklin would say about what's become of his fair university. Now that this is our university instead of Ben's, there are some serious issues that we need to discuss.

I imagine that Ben would be extremely pleased with Penn's prominence, as we should be. But we should concede that a strong academic reputation is a mixed blessing. Students at this school are simply the brightest to be found anywhere (or students who didn't write this column, at least). Protecting this reputation sometimes requires turning away people with a greater passion for learning simply because they haven't learned as much.

Why is it that the crop of applicants for the Class of 2008 is so much more qualified than previous classes have been?

I would like to know what makes them so much better. Personally, I don't think a person with a 1400 SAT is incredibly brighter than a person with a 1300. And I certainly don't think that Penn's whopping nine-point increase in SAT scores qualifies this as the "much stronger pool" that Admissions Dean Lee Stetson describes. Perhaps it's just sour grapes since I was shouting hallelujahs that my scores broke four digits, but I just think it's time we examined our priorities in education.

Maybe I'm being too tough on the potential Class of 2008. Maybe they'll possess passions the like of which Penn has never seen before. I certainly hope so. I just wish that the Admissions Office wouldn't declare it the strongest pool of applications before looking past SATs and GPAs.

Or maybe we're just morons.

Zachary Noyce is a freshman in the College from Taylorsville, Utah. The Stormin’ Mormon appears on alternate Fridays.

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