Daniel McQuade: Want my opinion? Try Howard Stern

There's a fun game you can play when listening to The Rush Limbaugh Show. Turn it on and count how much time it takes him to say, "Clinton," or some variation.

If it's longer than 45 seconds, it's a new record.

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When filling out my schedule last semester, for some reason my brain felt it would be a good idea to take three days of 9 a.m. classes.

I hadn't had one since, well, ever, and I thought it'd be pretty easy to get up around 8 and make it to class. It's not, but I do get some satisfaction from the radio.

My alarm is set to the same station every morning, and every time that class starts at an ungodly hour, I wake up to Stern.

I'm a fan of Stern. I don't listen to the whole show, but what I catch is usually pretty funny. Sure, Stern's a little crass, but his routine works -- lots of viewers and a funny show.

Here's the kicker, though: on Stern's show, opposing views aren't silenced. It could be something as ridiculous as rating a model who's stripped her clothes off, or something as hot of a topic as gay marriage. But, either way, people listening to the show are going to hear what every guest, or everyone on the show, thinks.

Stern's no liberal, and he's no conservative. He's a -- gasp! -- real person with diversified views.

Let's go to another example: sports talk radio. In many ways I abhor sports talk radio, especially in this city. It's boring, and they talk too much about their favorite movies or albums, but they do give everyone some sort of a voice. If you call in, you can say whatever you want about the Philadelphia sports teams, regardless of whether you agree with the host.

And even each host has a diversified view, at least on Philly's sports talk station, 610 WIP-AM. Sure, some of that is done to rile up callers, but if the hosts are saying that Sixers star Allen Iverson should be traded, you can bet the producers are going to allow calls in saying he shouldn't be let go.

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It's long been said that you can listen to the radio without ever hearing an opinion different than your own. And since conservatives tend to feel disaffected right now, most of the current crop of talk radio hosts are conservatives.

Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, Radio America. Those're just a few. Most of the time, those programs -- to be fair, my experience with them is limited -- present the host's view, and the views of ... those exactly the same as the host. (Which, coincidentally, are usually the exact same as the "standard" Republican Party views.)

There's nothing wrong with this. Rush Limbaugh gets ridiculous ratings. A lot of people agree with the views espoused on this show.

I'm not quite sure why it's mainly conservative talk radio, but it is. Sure, the mainstream networks have a liberal spin sometimes, but they also have a conservative spin other times. It's not like the media spouts a liberal viewpoint 100 percent of the time and people like Limbaugh are the only conservative voices. But for the most part, talk radio is the same viewpoint time and time again.

This, of course, makes Al Franken's new "liberal talk radio" all the more boring of an idea. Franken -- who is very slowly heading into "he was only cool when he was underground" territory -- will host a show on a new radio network from noon to 3 p.m. to compete directly with Limbaugh.

This seems odd, of course, because it's not like Franken will take viewers from Limbaugh. He wants to do the same schtick, except from the other side. Great.

There's been some talk from slam-dunk Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry and others about bringing back the FCC "fairness doctrine," making radio stations give equal time to both parties, in essence.

That is most certainly not the answer. If people want to listen to some conservative or liberal blowhard, then I don't think the station should be forced to put someone on the other side of the fence as well.

And the answer also isn't combating conservative talk show hosts with liberal ones, as discussed by Franken and in a much-talked about Harper's Magazine article from a little while back.

How about this: a talk show that's hosted by a real person, who has diversified viewpoints -- like most Americans -- and who allows everyone to speak.

Howard Stern and sports talk radio may not be the most respected of programs, but for diversity of opinions, they get my vote in 2004.

Daniel McQuade is a senior English major from Philadelphia, Pa., and former 34th Street managing editor. Lone Wolf McQuade appears on Thursdays.

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