To fight the proverbial "battle of the trenches" alone is the closest thing on the gridiron to suicide. But, when a unit of five men truly work as one, real greatness can be achieved.
Mess with the offensive line and you might get the dreaded "fork and knife," where one player grabs you while the other takes out your legs. Or you might just get a throat punch.
"You've got to be a bit of a masochist," Penn senior Ben Noll said.
"It's definitely not for the faint of heart," senior Chris Kupchik is quick to note.
"Unless all five guys do exactly what they're supposed to do, the play won't work," senior Michael Powers said. "I think that's what makes offensive line such a difficult position -- if one out of five guys screws up, it's done."
Penn's offensive line thinks it has what it takes -- it has the unity -- to achieve greatness.
"We have a chance to be one of the best lines in Ivy League history," fifth-year senior center and team co-captain Matt Dukes said. "Five seniors, guys that have been together two years in a row, four All-League guys -- we set a very high bar for ourselves this year."
In collegiate football, where rosters change dramatically from year to year, the Quakers' offensive line of seasoned seniors is almost unheard of. These six -- Noll, Kupchik, Dukes, Powers and Chris Clark start, while Chris McGrady is a backup -- have grown together and now, in their final year at Penn, are at their peak.
"This is the only time I can ever think of in my 23 years as a head coach that we've had so many seniors at one position," Penn coach Al Bagnoli said. "It doesn't work out very often, but this was a good group... and it worked out."
"In terms of a unit, I'm not sure you can get a better situation," Noll said.
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Look at a map. Their hometowns provide a quick geography lesson of the continental United States -- and their personalities are just as varied. However, Bagnoli has pieced together a line of very different men that is poised to make a name for itself in the storied tradition of Penn football.
Unity isn't the first thing you'd think of when glancing at the biographies of the Quakers linemen. However, when they're together, it is easy to see why such a seemingly diverse group can become one strong body for 60 minutes on 10 Saturdays each year. There is a staggering amount of mutual respect.
Dukes is no doubt the leader of this motley crew.
"No one else can be a leader 'cause Dukes is always talking," McGrady said jokingly. "He gets you pumped up and gets you ready to go."
Dukes is known as the chatterbox of the bunch.
"He's a ranter," Powers said. "He's always ranting about something, but it's entertaining."
"He can ramble on for 15 minutes, not make a single point, but [you feel] like you've learned something," McGrady said.
A Wharton undergraduate, Dukes -- who is a year older than the rest of the line and started playing with the group last year -- wanted to stay in the South, close to his Orlando, Fla., home. But the center couldn't find a better mix of academics and athletics than was offered to him at Penn.
Preseason All-American Chris Clark traveled the farthest to West Philadelphia, coming from Temecula, Calif.
Clark -- the reigning Chuck Bednarik Award-winner as the team's top offensive lineman -- has earned the nickname on the field as "Crazy Clark."
"He's just out of his mind," Dukes said. "He does things on the football field that a guy his size just shouldn't be able to do. It just defies logic. He seems like he plays with a screw loose, which is how you have to play the game."
While Clark may be wild and crazy on the field, his off-field demeanor is quite different. The first-team All-Ivy member is reserved and quiet.
"He's not a very talkative guy, but everything he says usually makes me laugh," Noll said. "I enjoy having him around the locker room, whether it's telling us about all of last night's exploits with all his girlfriends or explaining to us what's the best value food-wise around campus."
Clark and McGrady have been best friends since before freshman year, meeting in the pre-college program.
While some of the players are tight on the field and off, Powers tends to be the loner of the bunch.
"He's an individual that's not understood very much," Noll said. "But I definitely think he's a good guy when it comes down to it."
"I'm just the weird one that nobody probably likes that much, but manages to get by," Powers said, half jokingly.
Powers' personality, according to all his teammates, is best defined by his affinity for odd dress, particularly Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses.
"It's the most ridiculous thing ever," McGrady said.
"I do it for my own amusement," Powers replied.
Powers made the trip to Philly from Birmingham, Ala., and came to Penn because, quite frankly, it was his only choice.
"I wanted to go Ivy League, and I wanted to play football. Penn was pretty much the only school that recruited me," he admitted.
Hailing from the town of Wildwood, Mo., Noll never expected to end up at Penn with this group.
"Being from the Midwest, honestly, I didn't even know Penn existed," he confessed.
However much unity there is within the group on the field, when they are competing at video games, it's every man for himself with Noll leading the way.
"McGrady is my bitch at Halo," Noll is quick to note.
Noll's excitement for Halo, however, can only be matched by his love for the golden arches.
"I'm at the point now at McDonald's that I get free food," Noll said. "I single-handedly keep that McDonald's afloat."
The 300-pound Noll is known for his smarts on the field as well as his bulk.
"I love Ben to death," Kupchik added. "He's about the smartest player I know. He's real, real savvy when it comes to stuff. I wish I had that."
Kupchik is the son of a Wharton MBA and the most local lineman, living a little over a half hour away in Berlin, N.J.
Mentioning his name and his home state around his teammates will elicit a chorus of one word -- tough -- as his teammates associate Kupchik's Garden State-roots with his tenacious personality on the field.
"What would I say about 'Tough?'" Noll asked. "That's it -- that he's tough."
"Kupchik is 'Toughchik,'" Powers said.
"Everyone busts my balls about being tough," Kupchik said. "I guess it's just something about me. I think really I'm a sweetheart."
Finally, there's McGrady from the tiny, rural town of Daniels, W.Va -- probably the last guy you'd expect to see walking the streets of West Philadelphia at night.
"No one leaves my state to do anything, let alone play football," he said. "No one had ever gone to an Ivy League school.
"It's kind of a shock, though. There's more people living in the Philadelphia area than my entire state."
McGrady -- nicknamed "Shady" -- draws his personality from his hometown.
"I'm from Alabama, I know country," Powers said. "Shady's country."
McGrady and Kupchik -- at a combined weight of 565 pounds -- had the pleasure of being roommates freshman year in a tiny room in Hill House.
"He couldn't sleep all the first week," Kupchik said of McGrady, "because the traffic on Walnut was too loud for him -- about as country as it gets."
Despite the cacophony of personalities, the group has an uncanny bond.
Noll and McGrady are even competing for the same spot on the field. This competition stays on the field.
"It's never got in our way," McGrady said. "It's always on the field. We're friends, so it's never come into play."
In four years of working together, fighting together and -- most importantly -- eating and drinking together, this group has become a family.
"We all experience a lot on and off the field, so we meet every other night at the local therapy session --the bar," Noll said. "Also, we have spent countless hours eating together, which is one of our favorite pastimes as o-linemen."
Offensive lineman from anywhere can agree to that.
While offensive linemen don't receive the attention or stats that positions like quarterback, wide receiver and running back do, the unit has received recognition in other forms. Four of the five starters were All-Ivy selections last season.
While the unit doesn't score touchdowns, it takes solace in the achievements of others.
"We live vicariously through the other positions," Dukes said. "If they play well, it's a direct result of us playing well."
"We are the most hard working group on the field," Kupchik added. "We have to be. While to a layman, it might not look like we're working really hard, our coaches and teammates can tell."
Nevertheless, the group always wishes it could score the game-winning touchdown or nab a crucial interception.
Or just touch the ball.
Kupchik got a rare chance at a stat just last season, when he recovered a fumble on fourth-and-one to record a first down.
"It's nice, because I get a little recognition in stat books," he said."
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In just a few months, however, these six seniors will line up together for the final time. This thought upsets them all in ways as varied as their personalities.
Some will miss the game of football itself, a sport that has consumed the better part of their young lives.
"I'm going to miss hitting people," the ever-tough Kupchik said.
But while the lack of routine competition will be hard for them, the squad will miss each other most.
"I'm going to miss going into battle with guys I've known for so long," Noll said. "They're not acquaintances, they're not friends, they're not people that I'd sometimes hang out with. I know it's sappy and that kind of shit, but it's something you're not going to get anywhere else."
Unity isn't simply made; it is sculpted by experience, trust and respect. For the past four years, this offensive line has been molded and shaped out of pieces that seemingly would not join. For 10 more games, these six individuals will be one.
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