Elisabeth Kwak-Hefferan: Not too late for a perfect summer

I've just realized I've been missing out. My life is incomplete. I've never had that One Summer.

If you watch any of those summer movies aimed at the lucrative teen market, you know what I'm talking about. It seems that everyone has that One Summer -- when we embark on thrilling adventures, meet fascinating people, learn some life lessons and are never the same again. It's a turning point, a shining moment of adolescence, a three-month period chock full of coming-of-age drama.

Somehow, I missed it. Maybe you did too.

That's not to say that I didn't have wonderful summers. No, I always had a great time. But I never quite managed to gather all the ingredients together at once into the definitive One Summer experience. At this point, we may be a little past the target age (prime time seems to fall somewhere between 14 and 17), but hey, better a little late than not at all. If we're to believe those summer films (and have they ever steered us wrong?), the One Summer is a prerequisite to a happy, well-adjusted adulthood.

Given the stakes, it's best we all take a moment from our frantic paper-writing and exam-studying to plan our own personal One Summers. Details can vary, but the experience has a few essential characteristics. Grab a pen, make a checklist and get ready -- you'll never be the same again.

First off, you must have a soundtrack. Keep it with you at all times, for you simply cannot have that key beach rendezvous or score the winning run in the camp softball championship without your signature song in the background. The choice of music is yours, but keep in mind that lyrics featuring surfing, sun and fun make the best additions.

Next, you must choose your location. A popular One Summer setting is an extended vacation. A vacation cottage with the folks works well, as does summer camp. (Never mind that you're too old to be a camper. If you're irresponsible enough, a counselor can pull it off too.) Your own hometown can double as the backdrop for your adventure in a pinch.

Whatever the place, though, you must have a body of water nearby. Oceans and lakes are preferred, but any water will do; fact is, an unforgettable summer must be spent, in part, on the beach. Along the same lines, your beach should be populated by beautiful bronzed people in neon swim trunks and bikinis.

Oh, this goes without saying, but of course you'll have to give up your work plans. Sorry, internships and waiting tables take up precious time you need to be hanging out at the beach and making eyes at your summer love interest. You may be broke, but really, let's get our priorities straight.

After you have burned your soundtrack CD and found your beach, the next step is to find your adventure. All great summers involve some sort of challenge to surmount, in the process of which you will learn new truths about yourself and your place in the world. It could be a contest of some sort, surfing or dancing or even a "big game" against the rival team -- alternately, it could be a local mystery in need of some good old-fashioned sleuthing.

Whatever it is, make sure you pace yourself correctly. Take up the challenge in early June, get disillusioned and almost quit in late July, and triumph in a blaze of glory about a week before you have to get back to Penn.

Accomplish all this, and you've had a great summer. But you won't have your One Summer until you fall in love. A steamy summer romance is the perfect catalyst for your profound transformation, so start scoping for a candidate as soon as possible: popular choices include lifeguards, the cute girl behind the ice cream counter and that brooding guy from the boy's camp. Date, dance, kiss under the stars and declare your undying love for each other -- then say goodbye at summer's end with tears and promises to write.

You won't, though. One Summer romance is doomed from the start, but that's OK. How else will you grow and change and learn about love and life? At least you'll have some fond memories to reflect upon years down the road.

There you have it, the recipe for your very own One Summer, in case you haven't enjoyed this rite of passage yet. But even if you don't manage to pull it off, I wish you a relaxing and fun summer anyway. It's been quite the semester -- and thanks to all of you readers who sent me responses, told me opinions or even thought for a moment about what I've written. It's been a ball, and I hope to be right back here next spring.

'Til then, have a great summer.

Elisabeth Kwak-Hefferan is a junior communications major from Wheaton, Ill.

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.