All right, kids, get ready to shake your asses, drop your glasses and pass the Courvoisier! Busta Busta is gonna rock Fling and... the... well, honestly? I'm not really that excited. I know that for the Penn community, saying this borders on treason and sacrilege, but I don't think Fling is really all that great.
It's more than the fact that everything around Fling has to be a less-than-clever play on the word itself, such as this year's "Testing, testing, is this Fling on?" I wonder -- who are the ad wizards that came up with that one? Personally, I don't give a flying fling what the fling you call it, but I'm a little startled that this is the best you could do.
What annoys me even more than the flinging play on words is the oldheads who bitch about how Fling used to be SO much better and we don't know from crazy. One aging hipster I know claimed that Fling his year was "everyone passed out on the field and those who weren't were engaged in a massive mud-caked orgy for hours."
Huh.
Maybe I'm blas‚ about it because I never needed an excuse to start drinking before noon. Really, perhaps this still holds some mystique to some, but conventional wisdom seems to dictate that after a semester and a half of college, it isn't all that innovative.
On that same note, I also wonder why we should get so excited about the prospect of cutting loose and overindulging on certain substances. Isn't that what we do every weekend? Some say, yes, but on Fling, it's TO THE EXTREME. I say, I'm not sure how you guys spent your weekends freshman year, but for me, any more extreme could have caused some serious damage.
Listening to all this promotion and "what are you doing for Fling" talk, I really think this stuff is entirely contrived. People make it sound like if you don't walk away from Fling with a police record, a tattoo you don't remember getting or a stolen maintenance truck story (everyone seems to have one), you are not doing your duty as a Penn student.
I also think it's amusing that the number of pre-frosh Penn hosts somehow magically quadruples during this weekend. This just might present a slightly distorted view of Penn's student body to perspective freshmen, but hey, whatever it takes to sell the place.
I'm not trying to preach, but I also think that with everything going on in the world right now, there are perhaps better ways to spend your time than giggling compulsively about how your roommate is so stoned that he's watering the television before going out and harassing girls to remove various items of clothing. If there was ever a time to set aside our ingrained American penchant for decadence and self-indulgence, this would be it.
Which isn't to say you should sit around contemplating the impossibility of life, the universe and everything. Penn Relays are at the end of this month, and I recommend them. Good food, bands, international athletics and Jamaicans! Honestly, I can see drunk freshmen any day of the week. The relays, or any of the many other events that go on in this city every weekend and go largely ignored by the Penn community, present a refreshing alternative.
But I look around, see everyone else's reactions to Fling, and I must conclude that I am the aberration. I'm probably just getting old, and really, I'm not trying to spoil your fun. Do your thing, since you're only young once (and I've clearly managed to age about 10 years between now and a year ago).
However, if what I'm saying makes sense to anyone, remember: the list of things you "have" to do in college by the standards of others is long and elaborate. Realistically, you don't have to do anything but graduate, and even that is debatable. The last time I did something that someone else thought would be a good idea, I woke up on the eighth floor of the Academy House on 15th and Locust wedged between a potted plant and a bench by the elevator. You know, I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Aw hell. Think twice before you drink till you puke and don't get pregnant. That's all I'm trying to say.
Eliot Sherman is a sophomore from Philadelphia, Pa.
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