Conor Daly: An institution that brings us together

Why the hell are you reading the newspaper at all, today of all days? The crossword puzzle is impossible, the columnists stink and 34th Street, complete with an abundance of pedophilia and anal sex jokes, came out yesterday.

Also, have you ever heard of Spring Fling? Because it kind of starts today.

The ultimate Penn custom, the greatest campus party, the long anticipated substance-fest has finally arrived (though in truth, for some it began as early as last Friday). And unlike some among us whom have come to deride this institution for the inebriation, unruliness and fornication that accompanies it -- like fellow columnist Eliot Sherman, a sophomore who chalks his criticism up to being old at 20 -- I welcome this occasion with open arms and lament that this is my last Fling as an undergraduate.

After all, Spring Fling is one of those experiences that makes Penn an enjoyable place to live for four years, not to mention one of the foremost events from which students and alumni alike are able to draw the most satisfying memories of their time in college, albeit sometimes with a lack of complete lucidity.

Accordingly, I have met few real critics of Spring Fling. To be sure, there are many out there who gripe about the choice of the concert act or complain about Fling's deterioration into a real bore, saying things like, "This Fling sucks. You should have seen my freshman year. We had five handles of Everclear instead of four."

But honestly, these people may complain a little about having slightly less grain alcohol at their fingertips, but they'll still be there enjoying every minute of every day, relaxing in the Quad and forgetting about everything happening outside its ancient brick walls (including the war, hopefully). They'll be gladly sucking up every last drop of the experience because they know they only have four of these weekends.

Even those who end up in minor scuffles while acting like jackasses walk away with a bump on the head, a scratch on the face and a story to tell that never fails to bring a smile to their faces when they add it to their repertoire of "We were crazy in college" stories. They'll repeatedly tell it to their friends for weeks and thereafter, bring it out years later when the subject of conversation turns to college. I think I'll use the one from Fling two years ago when I got beat up with a keg tap.

Detractors of Spring Fling, like Sherman, may see it as no different than a usual weekend at Penn. Many people use substances and go to parties on weekends, so why do we make a big deal out of the same thing when it's done in the Quad? Such people are missing some understanding of this institution.

Spring Fling has etched itself a special niche in our Penn experience, one that cannot be degraded to the point where it is compared to a typical weekend at Penn going to off-campus parties and ending up at Smokey Joe's or Billybob's in time for last call. Yes, there is often substance use and rowdiness at times during this weekend, but such characteristics do not suffice as labels for Spring Fling -- its significance is larger.

Fling is an important ritual, as it strives to bring every undergraduate, from the library hermit to the party animal, into concert for a brief period in the interest of creating at least a fleeting episode of shared undergraduate experience.

Fling isn't necessarily about alcohol and substances, though it may be for most. Rather, Fling gives undergraduates an occasion, a tradition, through which they are able to unwind and escape the pressures that lay just outside the Quad's large iron gates, leaving the manner of depressurizing while cavorting in the Quad up to the individual; although for many, that is true as long as you don't get caught.

So, if you are an undergraduate and still reading this, drop the paper (you can't do the crossword anyway) and get over to the Quad to take part in what should be one of our most prized Penn rituals. Because after all, if you miss it, then you'll only have three.

Conor Daly is a senior Political Science major from Boxford, Mass.

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