Hilal Nakiboglu: Learning from procrastination and diversion

On Friday I plan to take my doctoral qualifier exam. This means that for three hours, I will scramble to adequately answer a question about how universities do or should operate. If I pass, in celebration I will joyously fling myself into the arms of wild festivity (or, more likely, just flip through some TV channels and fall asleep by 10 p.m.). If, however, the professors who read my exam decide my response is incoherent or, worse yet, incorrect, I could fail. There's the off chance I'll have to leave my program. Degree-less, penniless and, largely, devoid of any marketable talent. A disturbing thought. Studying for an exam of this kind can be daunting. Tests like the SAT or GRE are bad enough. Yet, for such entrance exams, there are overpriced practice books one can buy. There are flashcards to make and review courses to throw your money at. With a qualifier exam you are left on your own. There is no study manual or text. Studying itself, given the absences of a guiding hand and clear sense of direction, is really the biggest test of all. Especially if you're anything like me. When people are tasked with preparing for such an exam, they are often advised to do two things. First, they are told not to worry. And second, they are encouraged to learn everything they can about the subject. Three days away from the test, I now realize that I have not managed to do either. What I have done instead, though, is enhance my capacity for distraction. Meaningful avoidance of work requires creative inspiration, spontaneity and tenacity. After dancing on that shaky, short bridge between productive study and who-am-I-kidding procrastination for a while now, I am surprised to realize that, in fact, I have learned much. In a successful attempt to get away from my studies during these past months, I've taken up Iyengar yoga and have a newfound appreciation for the "cow pose." Perhaps as a spiritual extension of this, I've inched closer to enlightenment by tapping into the healing powers of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Inspired, I've also tried my hand at the underappreciated art of scrapbooking, found a Nepalese penpal to befriend and, importantly, re-memorized all the words to the '90s hits "Ice, Ice, Baby" and "Suicide Blonde." Those around me have benefited from my distractions as well. My dentist, for instance, is now the owner of a lovely, although somewhat lopsided, coffee mug courtesy of my efforts put toward a ceramics class. The whole world, no less, has changed since I've learned basic HTML and added my very own, very ugly Web site to countless others on the Internet. While not studying, I've managed to learn much. But where will all this precious, hard-earned knowledge get me on Friday? Chances are, not very far. I'll risk having to eat my words next week in a column entitled "Ten Things To Do While On Academic Probation" by saying I don't regret having spent time outside the library. Not yet, at least. Certainly, passing this exam is important to me. We're all here, presumably, because of our collective objectives rooted in advanced learning and degree attainment. Academic survival and achievement are priorities for us. Yet, reaching for these goals need not limit the richness and depth of our college experience. Breaking away from the books to pursue other interests can actually help make one a better student, not to mention a more fulfilled person. For most of us, college is a means to some end. We all elaborately plan out golden, perfect futures for ourselves, then march toward them with blinders on. When we wake up, a few short years later, we are begowned and listening to our commencement speaker on College Green. Although we've counted the ceiling panels in the Engineering Library and can sequentially rattle off all the enzymes of Krebs' Cycle, we haven't given ourselves full license to bloom. As a recovering ceiling-panel counter myself, I wish I understood sooner that procrastination needn't be a dirty word. Just as learning takes place in the classroom, so does it on Locust Walk and in Irvine Auditorium. It takes place thanks to roommates, and the people on your intramural soccer team. Learning happens while you punch your way through Kempo class and see a foreign film at the International House. You learn as you fall in love and, even more so, when you fall out of it. Now, nearly halfway through the semester, I wish the remaining months for us all are ones of productive "learning" -- in the truest, fullest sense of the word. Hilal Nakiboglu is a second-year doctoral student in Higher Education Management from Ankara, Turkey.

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