The Office of Student Conduct says it's "investigating" what really happened in the Quad last month. It's hot on the trail, I'm sure.
Never mind that the police have already given a detailed account of the assault, named names and released mug shots of the alleged Quadrangle Five. Never mind that The Daily Pennsylvanian was able to provide a detailed account of the incident from witnesses the day after it happened.
And the OSC? They're taking their time. And while they do, the five alleged hoodlums wander around campus after allegedly trying to light some poor Princeton kid on fire.
This little incident has taught us all that, no, motor oil isn't flammable. If you would have asked me that on Nov. 16, I'd have told you that I was 99 percent sure that it wasn't. But getting hammered, pouring it all over a New Jersey debater and throwing a cigarette on him doesn't seem like the best way to rule out that uncertainty.
After a policy of silence paralleling that only of the defendants and their lawyers, Penn has finally assured us that the Quad Five won't be charged until all the facts are known. But what's taking so long? Is the OSC staffed by the Keystone Cops?
The tie that binds the alleged hoodlums together is the Owl Society, and, up until now, the University has seen fit to take a "hands off" policy on the so-called "secret society." Outgoing InterFraternity Council President Conor Daly, who's probably doing back flips of "I-told-you-so"-inspired joy, called for the University to act against groups like the Owls last spring. What has Penn done? Stayed neutral and kept its mouth shut.
Well, now Penn's liable. The Owls are an organization made up of Penn students. They recruit on Penn's campus. And now, the Owl-affiliated Quad Five have allegedly committed a crime in one of Penn's dorms, where students are supposed to have a reasonable assurance of safety.
Their lawyers are saying that the Owls had nothing to do with it. Jeff Sandman, the freshman host of some of the Princeton debaters, including John Brantl, the alleged victim of the assault, told CNN that it was ridiculous to think that the Owl Society would condone this kind of behavior. Never mind that Sandman is an Owl rush, which CNN -- and presumably Sandman -- didn't mention.
Those who would defend the Owls in this incident, like Sandman, say that it's just five guys who happen to know each other, and that it could have been any five guys. Just like when five Mafiosi get busted hijacking a truck -- yeah, they just know each other casually. It's not as if they happen to all be members of a criminal organization, or that said organization somehow supports this behavior. If the Quad Five were frat boys, they'd be off campus faster than Daly could say "pseudo-Greek."
In fact, the Owl Society has stepped up their recruitment of freshmen in light of the incident. On the night the DP reported the Quad Five's Owl connection, the Owls took "about 25" freshmen out for dinner downtown as part of their recruitment process, according to an Owl rush.
The OSC seems to think it's fine to let these thugs walk around campus. They're a menace and a safety risk -- suspend them until they've been cleared of charges or expel them if they are found liable for the assault. Start tracking down the members of the Owls -- plenty of people seem willing to talk, if the pages of the DP are any indication -- and let them know they can't operate on Penn property and that there will be consequences if they do so.
This situation has been a self-inflicted embarrassment for Penn's administration for long enough -- it's time to end it.
Drew Armstrong is a senior English major from Ann Arbor, Mich., and a Daily Pennsylvanian staff writer.
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