So, you wanna go to the rooftop lounge? What a pick up line. Aww, yeah. Meh... it's our last night here at DPOSTM, and we forgot to interview someone for our PrognostiQuakers tonight. It doesn't matter, though. Stupid reader -- you didn't read the first letter of the first six paragraphs. You should have. It spells out something very important. You're a moron and an idiot and a moron. You should really stop reading this during COMM 226 and go do the crossword puzzle. Anyway, so tomorrow is the big Penn-Cornell game. Only problem? Penn is going to destroy Cornell. Really. We PrognostiQuakers are never wrong. Anyway (again), so what's up? How youuuuuuuu doing? "Oh, very well," said Coach Lake. This is the last PrognostiQuakers of the season. Football year is over after this game, and you won't have to read this again. Or again. Thanks, the Department of Redundancy Department. "Who's playing," said someone who we just called as we were writing this. We responded with "Penn and Cornell," as those are the two football squadrons who are meeting on the gridiron tomorrow. So, the person we called said, "Coach Lake," and we agree. Coach Lake will indeed score seventeen touchdowns as the Penn Quakers roll over the Cornell Big Red to become victorious in the immortal battle on the gridiron tomorrow. Thanks again, Department of Redundancy Department. Anyway, in case you were wondering, the three editors of DPOSTM (that's the Sports section, for you ignorant fools who don't know what DPOSTM is -- you stupid morons, man you should just stop reading this now) are done. New editors will be elected tomorrow night and you will have to read headlines, captions and information boxes written by other people from now on. Say goodbye to Amy "AP" Potter, Dan "D-Mac" McQuade Byline and Lance "Striped Bass" Stier and say hello to three new editors. So, we picked Penn, but we didn't explain it yet. In case you're wondering, Penn shall win tomorrow. Duh. Penn. Penn. Penn. I-V-Y CHAMPS! We jock Coach Lake. Penn shall win tomorrow and the game shall end with a huge victory for Penn. Thanks again, Department of Redundancy Department. Penn 45632957345, Cornell 0
Final Week Picks
| Tristan Schweiger (36-12) | Penn 100-0 | Harv.7-0 | P'ton 10-3 | Brown 29-3 | |
| Andrew DeLaney (35-13) | Penn 42-7 | Yale 14-10 | Dart. 14-7 | Colum. 28-7 | |
| Lance Stier (35-13) | Penn 44-7 | Harv. 24-17 | P'ton 31-24 | Colum. 22-17 | |
| Jeremy Dubert (34-14) | Penn 52-10 | Harv. 30-21 | Dart. 30-20 | Colum. 4-1 | |
| Steve Brauntuch (33-15) | Penn 42-3 | Harv. 28-10 | P'ton 17-7 | Brown 7-3 | |
| Kyle Bender (33-15) | Penn 63-0 | Harv. 28-21 | Dart. 3-0 | Brown 24-10 | |
| Alexis Gilbert (32-16) | Penn 94-0 | Harv. 28-10 | P'ton 35-14 | Brown 2-0 | |
| Dave Zeitlin (31-17) | Penn 77-0 | Yale 30-24 | Dart. 21-2 | Colum. 0-1 | |
| Matt Mugmon (31-17) | Penn 77-8 | Harv. 3-2 | Dart. 2-0 | Colum. 4-3 | |
| Jonathan Shazar (30-18) | Penn π-e | Harv. 2-1 | P'ton 100-0 | Brown 3-2 | |
| Amy Potter (28-20) | Penn 42-7 | Harv. 21-7 | P'ton 26-2 | Colum. 28-7 | |
| Dan McQuade (28-20) | Penn 38-14 | Harv. 44-9 | Dart. 3-0 | Brown 328-0 | |
| Jarrod Ballou (23-21) | Penn 49-7 | Harv. 21-7 | P'ton 28-14 | Colum. 10-3 |
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