Eliot Sherman: A stark contrast on Walnut Street

It's been a blot on the Penn landscape for years, but now Huntsman Hall is finally realized in all its R2-D2-esque glory. Eight floors high and about a block wide, there's no denying that it looks like a million bucks. Or, more precisely, 140 million bucks. For the record, at around 327,000 square feet total, that comes to a bit more than 400 dollars per square foot. So tread carefully.

Upon entering Huntsman, the first thing you should do is inhale. Smell that? It's the unmistakable aroma of money. The next thing you might notice is the security guard looking at you suspiciously, attempting to discern your annual income and, from that, decide if you're worthy to enter such hallowed halls.

The main atrium boasts high ceilings, sleek tables and exceedingly comfortable chairs and couches. All that's missing is a cigar bar and billiard room, but with a few more timely donations, who knows?

If you proceed onward and upward you will be greeted with classrooms and computers and conference rooms and computers and offices with more computers. Even the computers have computers. Sadly, none of them are gold plated. I feel that this is a truly egregious oversight that someone will have to address in the near future.

It is quite a different scene from what you might find in Bennett Hall, three blocks down Walnut Street. There is a whopping one computer for students, located to the left of the main entrance. I'm pretty sure it's a 486. For you incoming freshmen, a 486 was a type of processor used before the implementation of the Pentium chip made them about as cutting edge as an abacus. At least the abacus doesn't break down as often.

The bathrooms in Bennett make most people think twice about using them. Many of the classrooms are cramped and crowded, and the desks are in various states of giving up the ghost. I am not talking about the dilapidated condition of our crumbling public school system. I am talking about the center for the study of English and writing at one of the foremost research universities on the planet.

If this bothers you in the slightest, then don't worry. Help is on the way. Penn's budget for Fiscal Year 2002 estimates that about $15 million over five years is needed for renovations. However, since interpreting budgets isn't exactly a specialty of mine, I'm uncertain if $13 million is being spent, or is just what is deemed necessary.

Even if it is being spent, I don't see it as a major overhaul that would bring the building up to speed technology-wise. It strikes me more as what is absolutely necessary to keep the building from collapsing in on itself and sending a group of caffeine-addicted Sartre-bashing English majors to an early grave.

Now look. I'm not naïve enough to think that humanities majors donate at the same level and rate as multimillionaire Wharton alumni -- the money for Huntsman Hall came exclusively from "alumni, corporations and friends."

I also understand that the amount of red tape that one must untangle to put a "please avoid wet paint" sign at this university on a wall is staggering, never mind what it takes to get everyone to agree on a new building. And, despite what you might believe, I'm not jealous of my Wharton colleagues. After all, it's what they signed on for. This whole money thing is a rather undeniable component of why they paid attention in math class, while I was trying to figure out if "Baba O'Riley" was written in C major (it was, by the way, just like 99 percent of all rock and roll).

And yet, I wonder if the discrepancy has to be so pronounced. There are significantly more College students, which means more alumni every year. The cost of tuition is up again. And I guess I'd just like to see the University do a little bit to level the playing field.

Until then though, I'll be enjoying the luxury of Huntsman Hall, and I recommend that some of you College kids do the same. If anyone questions you, just mutter something about the collapse of the South Asian market and watch your would-be interrogator dash off to the nearest computer terminal. It gets them every time.

Eliot Sherman is a sophomore from Philadelphia, Pa.

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