Letters from George: an exclusive with W.

Only rarely does the public get a glimpse of the inner workings and deep thoughts of those who hold power and make important decisions. But The Summer Pennsylvanian this week obtained copies of some recent entries in George W. Bush's private diary. Here are a few of the highlights.

June 26, 2002

Dear Diary,

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic, for Richard Stanz, one nation, UNDER GOD, invisible, delivery and just ice for all!

I heard today that some federal court made it illegal to say

the Pledge of Allegiance. Well I showed them just now. I'm gonna start off my diary every day with that until the Supreme Court makes it legal again.

When I heard about that case, I got real scared about the unpatriotic decisions that are being made. What are they gonna take away next? Executions?

June 28, 2002

Hello Diary,

I read in the newspaper today that my daughters were hanging out at Stetson's saloon in D.C. a couple nights ago. Man, I was so disappointed. So we had an old-fashioned sit-down today, and I gave them a little lecture about drinking. I said, "Girls, I never, ever want to hear again about you at Stetson's. Stetson's is a saloon. You're the president's daughters, and you're in the nation's capital now. Please, don't go to a saloon. Go to a proper bar. Now the Brickskeller off Dupont Circle -- that's a bar. And you can't

go wrong with 500 different beers to choose from."

I hope they listen.

June 29, 2002

Hi, Diary.

Karl says that tomorrow I get to go to camp. I'm real excited -- I always loved camp. I hope we get to play Capture the Flag and have a nice picnic. But he says that it's not like real camp -- it's Camp David -- and that first I have to get colon surgery or something, see if I have polyps. That means they're gonna put me out for a few hours. I always say you have to look on the bright side, and tomorrow I get to sign away the presidency to Dick for a few of hours. Knowing he's in charge will definitely make me sleep a little tighter.

June 30, 2002

Diary:

Some things make me real mad. Not the colon tube thing, that went OK, and then we got to play some Capture the Flag, even though it was pretty hard to run around. What makes me mad is that when I signed away the presidency today, I told Dick, "Do what you gotta do." I thought it was pretty clear what I meant by that. But when I woke up and they gave me back the presidency, the Middle East situation was still not fixed, bin Laden was still alive, the wildfires were still going, the Pledge of Allegiance was still illegal, the government was still running out of cash and the economy was still in the dumps.

But there's one thing they can't take away: my ridiculously high approval rating.

July 3, 2002

Oh Diary,

My enemies are at it again. Now they're saying I was involved in some "insider trading" back home in Texas a while ago. And they say I didn't file everything I was supposed to with the SEC. I did everything I was supposed to. They say I sold stock before the company was going down the tubes.

It's like I said to Martha Stewart on that conference call with her and Sam Waksal the day before ImClone stocks plummeted: "If the going gets tough, you have to get out!" If you've got some information, and that information's going to help you, then you have to use it. It's an ethical obligation. I don't know anything about insider trading. All I know is that I sold my stock because of some information I had that others did not.

July 6, 2002

Hey Diary,

"Go George W., it's your birthday!" I got a lot of good presents

today. I was especially touched by the wonderful cases of Heineken and Rolling Rock that Jenna and Barbara got me.

The staff pitched in and got me a nice luxury framed edition

of the Pledge of Allegiance, with "under God" circled and highlighted a bunch of times so no one forgets those important words. Richard Stanz and the good Lord: the two most important figures in our nation's history.

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