A fine line between passion and practicality

I often associate the words "boring", "dull", and "just shoot me" when I think about my major.

So maybe that's being a little excessive, but lets just say you will never see me flipping through biomedical journals for the hell of it. Then why am I studying bioengineering?

Good question. I could just go with the cop out answer, "it's practical" or "my parents wanted me to do it," and in fact, both of those reasons are somewhat valid in my situation. However, I found myself personally dissatisfied with those reasons. I have tried to answer the question myself, and sadly, the best thing I could come up with: "I don't know what else to do."

After a rather brutal round of finals this past semester, I was left wondering what might be, were I to change my current course of study (i.e. switch into the college). After all, there was still (barely) enough time to finish a different major.

A lot of my friends treat the College as a refuge for former Engineering or Wharton students looking to salvage their bad GPA's. I don't agree.

After reading the newest college brochure -- the one attempting to dispel the idea of liberal arts as a waste of time -- I felt like maybe changing to the college would be the best thing that had come along in a while.

I could take classes that I'm interested in; major in something that I am really passionate about. Why punish myself with six hour bioengineering labs that manage to just annoy me on a weekly basis? I know I'm not a masochist, so there must be a better reason. What it is, though, I couldn't tell you.

Whenever I was asked what I thought I'd be doing 10 years from now, I was stumped. Blank. Not even an inkling of an idea. My friends all had plans: Med School, Law School, Business School, Grad School, and eventually, just make some big bucks.

I understand that those plans weren't set in stone, but I had (and still don't have) any direction for my future. My answer is usually just to complain that I don't like my major. I never figured out what to do about it. Most importantly, I never really figured out what I did like to study.

Perhaps that is the result of engineering being such a focused education but the reality is, I can't change the past two years.

Unlike the liberal arts education, I never had the opportunity to take a wide variety of classes and maybe hit upon something I truly enjoyed. Despite my newfound desire to overhaul my education, the reality of my situation is that even were I to change my major, I have no idea what I would do.

"Pursue what you love," every high school teacher and speaker told us. The mantra was constantly repeated and permanently ingrained in our minds. I think that I took it for granted without really thinking about what it meant. To pursue what I loved, I had to first figure out what that was.

I know a lot of people arrive at college without knowing what they want to do and figure it out later, but for me, I really regret not having given it some prior thought.

Eventually, I will find my passion, and at that time, I will pour my heart and soul into it. For the time being though, I'm going to bite the bullet. I've realized that even though your major may train you in a certain area, you will not be confined to that area.

A great deal of your college education is learning outside the classroom anyway. And as for having an interest in what you are studying, despite my personal situation, that's probably more realistic for a college student. I subscribe to the notion that if you don't like what you do, or what you study, it is impossible to excel in that field.

My "dilemma" will always exist as long as I don't know what I want to do. for the moment, I'm going to bide my time constantly reminding myself that bioengineering can be my fallback. Its something I can count on if my hopes and dreams fall apart.

Someday I'll have it all figure out. Wouldn't it be ironic though, if I really fell in love with my major? Sometimes life is funny that way. But right now, I'm not laughing.

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