Friends gather for Bynoe memorial

"But I wish that you / Were here with me / Well then there's hope yet / I can see your face / In our secret place / You're not just a memory."

Wharton undergraduate Electra Bynoe loved Madonna, and these lyrics from Madonna's "This Used to Be My Playground" played softly in the background of a visual montage that Bynoe's friends made for her memorial service, which was held yesterday in Irvine Auditorium's Amado Recital Hall.

The visual montage was only one part of the hour-and-a-half long memorial service, in which more than 100 friends, family and community members came together to remember Bynoe.

On April 2, Bynoe was found dead in her house on the 4000 block of Sansom Street. The Philadelphia Medical Examiner's office determined the cause of death to be suicide by asphyxiation.

"We are here this evening to celebrate the journey of a beautiful life," University Chaplain William Gipson said in his opening remarks. "She left many marks with her family, with her friends, in the classroom and everywhere where she engaged life."

Italian Studies Professor Millicent Marcus, who taught Bynoe in her Italian 580 course last fall, was the first speaker and set the tone for the rest of the service.

"It would be wrong for us to dwell on our sense of helplessness," Marcus said. "This is not the way to memorialize Electra."

College senior Karli Robyn, the second speaker, remembered Bynoe in a more familiar way.

"Electra was obviously a perky person with a distinctive personality," Robyn said.

"The question today is, 'How are we going to get along without her,'" Robyn said. "Who else is going to wear pajamas with little yellow ducks all over them and a matching hair scrunchie?"

Robyn was not the only one to share a lighthearted memory of Bynoe. When Gipson invited the audience to come forward and share their favorite moments with Bynoe, more than 15 friends and family members opted to do so.

One of Bynoe's friends from freshman year told of a favorite memory.

"One night, we all sat in Electra's tiny single in Hill [College House], and watched The Little Mermaid and did Tequila shots during the commercials," she said to laughter.

Penn Fund employee Elise Betz did not have a long relationship with Bynoe, but spoke of powerful memories of the student.

"I only knew Electra for a short time, but in that short time she made a big impact on me and the whole office," Betz said.

Betz said that, in particular, Bynoe's selfless nature left an indelible mark on those who knew her.

"One of our coworkers was having a birthday, and Electra said, 'Let me make the cake!" Betz recalled. "It was such a small gesture, but such a wonderful gesture. She was just happy to be doing something and helping out."

But nostalgia was one part of the service -- Bynoe's Aunt Jules addressed the audience on finding meaning in such a tragedy.

"I want to ask you to make Electra's life and death have meaning, because she can't be the only one out there" she said. "There are other people... who might think that there aren't enough reasons to live. I want you to think back to this day and know that Electra was wrong. She was so wrong."

"If there is anyone here who thinks this way and finds another way, that is the greatest tribute Electra could ever have," she said.

Bynoe's father Gary Henderson, whom she had not seen since the age of 15, also spoke on the importance of life.

"Life is the thing," Henderson said. "It is the only thing that we really have. I don't care how bad your life may seem to you, but if you start wanting to end it, that is an illness that you need to get treated."

Henderson said he remembered his daughter fondly.

"I don't know what she thought about me, but I always loved her," he said.

After the visual montage, a tribute to Electra's life by her friends, Gipson closed the service.

"We must strengthen each other, we must encourage each other and we must stand by each other," Gipson said.

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