Dan Fishback: Something to smile about

You'd think that, by the end of QPenn Week, I'd have a big issue to write about. After all, I "only every write about gay shit," and a lot of gay shit is going down -- performances, speakers, dances, a whole Daily Pennsylvanian adversting supplement chock full of "gay shit." And yet I don't really have any huge issue on the tip of my tongue -- I'm just... well... happy.

Which is boring, I know. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, with all the problems on our campus, in our country and in the world. Which is funny, because, according to my mom, those problems (and not "gay shit") are "all I ever write about."

"Why don't you write about something positive?" she always tells me. "We're making so many great strides. People should know. You should tell them." And I'm always like, "No, Mom -- this is the most complacent campus. If I start going on about how great everything is, people will get lazier. Leave the sunshine and butterflies to someone else, and I'll do my part to spark action." And then she'll be like, "Eat something, you're wasting away. Stop dying your hair. Why are you wearing those rags? -- you look like a bum."

In mom-speak, that means "I love you." And she does, so I'll take at least some of her advice. I'll give doom a break for now -- I'll be happy for a few hundred words.

My own personal QPenn Week started at the end of spring break. My whole family piled into the minivan and drove to the local Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Annual Gala in Washington, D.C. My mom was justifiably beaming. It's been five years since I came out, and now she's working to make our synagogue more open to sexual diversity. And my dad is starting to fight against discriminatory county school board regulations (yeah, my parents are cool -- they take after me). So, sitting around a banquet table at the gala, all of us looking fantastic, our family had a lot to be proud of.

And then people started making speeches. A Lutheran pastor got up and told us how much he wanted to apologize on behalf of the entire Christian religion. Then the D.C. police chief talked about his department's new Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit.

"The church is apologizing," I thought. "And the cops seem awfully friendly." So when my mom reminded me to be social because there were so many eligible Jewish bachelors around, I couldn't help but smile into the face of progress.

Then I came back to campus and the official QPenn began.

And even though the kick-off rally was, at times, deeply mournful, it was grief moving in the right direction. Every voice of pain was heard by a crowd of compassionate listeners. We heard each other's stories and, more importantly, learned from them. It's not often that a podium/audience set-up really feels like a conversation, but even when the crowd was silent, I felt the exchange in the air -- the understanding, the love, the determination to help.

Through the anger, there was an overwhelming sense of joyful relief -- to have a community, to have friends, to have a crowd of people who will applaud your existence, your voice. The theme of the rally was not that hate exists, but rather that we'll all fight hate to the death -- and that was cause for celebration.

Even the QPenn dance felt politically productive somehow, but that might have just been me projecting.

And all the while, Florida Governor Jeb Bush's mailroom has been flooded with letters urging him not to steal away the 10-year-old foster-son of two gay men -- a child they have raised since infancy. Since Rosie O'Donnell came out over spring break, she has inspired people all over the country to write letters to both prominent Bushes, insisting that no level of government stand against nurturing families, no matter what gender the parents happen to be. The call to arms has been intense and when it grows, it will work.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yes, I had a good week, but that's just a proverbial half-full glass. The glass can, and should, be looked at another way as well: this campus still doesn't accommodate transgendered students, a man was recently burned to death because he was gay, gay and lesbian soldiers are being discharged at record rates, an Alabama judge ruled that a lesbian mother was "unfit" because homosexuality is "an inherent evil" (not an example of undue "bias," says a judicial panel) and I could go on and on.

Well Mom... things aren't so peachy that I can afford 750 happy words. But you're right -- it's nice to think about progress, too. I love you, and I'll eat something.

Dan Fishback is a junior American Identities major from Olney, Md.

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