Film: The skinny on Hal

Unable to decide if Shallow Hal is a gross-out comedy like There's Something about Mary or slapstick like Dumb and Dumber, the Farrelly brothers, in the end, unfortunately made the movie into a sugar-coated romance. The film is a never-ending saga that doesn't rise above mediocrity. It's like Jello: slow to set, and never leaves you satisfied.

In typical Farrelly brothers fashion, there are supporting characters like Hal's best friend Walt (Rene Kirby), a man with spina bifula who walks on all fours, or the 70-year-old anorexic disco diva. Because of them, it's a struggle for the audience to truly believe in the developing relationship between Hal (Jack Black) and Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow).

The relationship begins when Hal is hypnotized. Rosemary appears to be a svelte goddess in Hal's eyes. In reality, she's a balloon, a balloon whose neverending cheeriness you want to pop. This happy fat person clich‚ is among the many that stop Shallow Hal from working. Speaking of which, don't go and watch this for the thrill of seeing a fat Gwyneth. The fat girl is only seen in window reflections or shadows. You only see her looking painfully thin. You just want to throw your popcorn at the screen and scream "eat something, anything, for the love of God, eat!"

Anyway, what made the relationship even less believable was Gwyneth Paltrow herself. The ice maiden is not an actress who can do comedy like Cameron Diaz, and is not someone you warm up to. Ever. She seems highly unenthusiastic about having to kiss Hal. Not that one can blame her for the reluctance, but a bit of passion was desperately needed to lift the film.

You would have to be truly superficial to enjoy Shallow Hal. It's an incredibly labored film that takes far too much time to reach a climax. Will they stay together when Hal no longer sees Gwyneth as a skinny person? What do you think? Exactly. It doesn't need to take two hours to get to that point.

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