Lauren Bialystok: What happened to our sex shows?

October.

The leaves are turning brown. The University has geared up to cruising speed. The semester is in full throttle.

Let the madness begin.

For too many Penn students, the academic year means answering to an endless list of demands and suffering unhealthy amounts of stress.

High on caffeine, low on sleep, frenetically racing from classes to meetings to the gym to the library -- finally crashing at home for a voicemail check-up, only to run out minutes later -- we behave like automata set to maximum productivity.

Plenty of studies have revealed the destructive effects of this lifestyle. Stress has been associated with health problems such as high blood pressure and ulcers, loss of memory, even obesity. And it's not just burnt-out adults who are affected. According to a recent UCLA study, 30 percent of college freshmen feel "frequently overwhelmed" by the demands of being a student.

The source of these demands is no mystery. We're often reminded of the expectations of our university and future employers. Stellar academic performance is supposed to be balanced with commitments at the personal, campus and community levels. Success is synonymous with juggling over-involvement and copious work.

No wonder we're so uptight.

Every hitch and glitch in our meticulously planned-out day is met with the fury of a Two-Minutes Hate. We secretly resent the friendly but incompetent clerk who takes a minute too long to ring up our purchases; we mutter obscenities under our breath when an obstinate red light interrupts our hurried gait. Having to wait in line at the bank is enough to trigger an explosion.

Losing your agenda can be a tragedy worse than losing your wallet. Without a guidebook to provide play-by-play instructions for the day, life might literally fall apart. Scheduling, ironically, becomes an activity unto itself.

Extra-curriculars that should take up an hour or two a week seem to engorge impossible chunks of time. Courses often take a back seat to our latest non-academic passion, so we have to "pull all-nighters" just to keep up.

And on top of classes and clubs, sports and special events, there are larger concerns looming over many of us: resumes and interviews, LSATs and GREs -- the daily challenges of carving out a future beyond this bustling campus. We've barely exited teenagehood and we're already strung out about the rest of our lives. Something here doesn't seem to make sense.

Even social activities can be swallowed up in this tornado of tension. We handle unexpected encounters around campus with impersonal social formulas. We perform the nod-and-smile en passant greeting several times a day without missing a beat. Most of us have even perfected the "Hey!-How-are-you?-We-should-really-get-together-sometime" walk-by conversation without even slowing down -- a true feat of multitasking.

And when we do stop for a moment to take respite in another's company, we begin by chiding ourselves for not spending more time together, and end by groaning in sympathy when one of us has to split.

Being busy at every moment is just the natural state of affairs. So rather than fighting the status quo, we learn to cut corners.

Eating is an optional activity that can be thrown in on the way to another one, if convenient. E-mailing can be accomplished during the three-minute void between two classes at one of the computer terminals in Williams or McNeil. And we can always wake up extra early tomorrow to finish the reading we didn't get around to tonight.

At least, these are the things we tell ourselves, even though experience points to the contrary.

Is this what college is about? Incessant responsibility and no time for ourselves?

What happened to our youth?

What happened to sitting with friends at four o'clock in the morning eating cold pizza and watching late-night sex shows?

What happened to the old adage, "These are the best years of your life?"

Specialists repeatedly conclude that we're over-extending ourselves for no good reason. They recommend moderating our involvement in campus life and setting aside time to unwind.

But they obviously don't remember their college days very well.

We don't live up to exhausting expectations simply to make Judith Rodin happy; there is actually something perversely satisfying in our hectic lives, something loftier than ruthless resume-building or unabated masochism.

Pursuing all that we do with boundless energy reminds us of our tremendous privilege in studying at a distinguished, dynamic university. The non-stop adrenaline keeps us exhilarated -- and sane.

One psychologist -- Mark Gorkin, also known as "The Stress Doc" -- suggests that we intersperse our commitments with physical exercise, relaxation and sleep.

Sleep, shmeep. I'm late for my next appointment. It involves pizza and late-night television.

Lauren Bialystok is a senior Philosophy major from Toronto, Ontario.

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