College students are not invincible

We claim to be invincible, afraid of nothing, willing to take risks in a world without ever having to think about the possible dangers associated with such risks -- us college students think we are unbreakable. But I have news for you -- we are.

It was my first fourth of July away from home. This year there would be no family dinners, no fireworks on the white, sandy South Florida beaches and no big party at my friend's house. What that night held in store for me would remain a mystery up until the early hours of the evening.

A housemate of mine invited me to stop by her friend's house and eventually a group pilgrimage to watch the fireworks near the Art Museum. As I walked to her friend's house, all the previous years of "fireworks and fun" ran through my head. For some reason, I had an eerie feeling, but I could not put my finger on it.

It was nearly 11 p.m. by this time, and the fireworks, delayed by rain, had just begun. My grandma always used to say it was good luck if it rained -- who was I to start questioning her words of wisdom now? After braving a crowded trolley trip home with two acquaintances, we started our walk to my summer residence. I bumped into a friend, but because of the rain I decided not to stop and strike up a conversation.

As we rounded the corner, the next few minutes of my life blurred together. Somewhere in this whole mess I found myself being robbed at gunpoint in the City of Brotherly Love on America's Independence Day less than a block away from my home -- ironic, in that frightful, unfortunate kind of way.

The rest of the night was a whirlwind of events -- from calling the police to retelling the story to my other housemates one time after another to trying to sleep peacefully after being made to feel like a victim. At first, I did not want to tell anyone because that just involved reliving it over and over again, playing out the scene in my mind.

Now, I know some people must think, so what, in a big city like Philadelphia stuff like that happens all the time. A typical person's initial reaction is, "Wow, that is horrible, and so close to us too," but eventually they shrug it off as nothing. Unfortunately, before that night I reacted the same way. I was sympathetic, a little shocked, but continued on with my daily routine.

When I came to college my parents used to lecture me about how I should never walk alone at night, never go out at really late hours and never carry a lot of cash on me when I was going to be in a crowded place. That night I had followed every safety rule I had ever known -- so much for following the rules.

People always tell us that when we are young and in college, we think we are unstoppable. We go twenty miles over the speed limit because we believe in our heads we are still safe drivers, we stay out until 3 a.m. and then walk home in small groups. I was guilty of possessing that same naive mentality.

But the real impact of what happened did not hit me until a day or two later. I found myself suspicious of everyone I saw on the street, glancing extra long at people whom I believed were mysterious or shady looking. If someone went to reach for something in his pocket my first instinct was to think it was a gun, and I would stray in my path down the sidewalk. Every loud noise made me jump and sent a chill up my spine. Horrified to walk around my neighborhood, even during the day, I had let the fear run my life and allowed myself to be a victim.

As if my new tendency to be perpetually nervous was not bad enough, a thousand what if's ran through my mind. What if I had gone back to Florida for the holiday? What if I had been at the DP like I am every Wednesday night? And what if I had actually stopped for a few minutes to talk to that friend? But I have never lived my life by what if's, and I am not going to start now.

Besides the fact that I will never walk home alone again past 9 p.m., this whole experience in some ways has changed me for the better. I realized had this guy been completely insane (not just partially demented) or had I not reacted as calmly as I did at the time, I might not be here right now. I learned that I should appreciate life because you never know what can happen in the blink of an eye. Any grudges I held with people or any mistakes I made I am trying to correct. Life is too short to waste it on petty arguments or trivial needs.

And, more importantly, at this age we can be broken. Just like anyone else, if we fall down the steps we are liable to break a bone, or if we speed in a car we can get into an accident. We do not wear signs on our heads that say, "immune to all harmful things in society, go elsewhere." Next year, however, I think I will watch the fireworks on T.V.

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