Letters to the Editor

To the Editor: The DP has betrayed the precepts of journalism in its recent coverage of every single issue on this campus. Your news stories list the things that actually happened. Your sports section reports results -- even when we lose, or when our teams really suck. And your columnists dare to actually talk about controversial issues. (Yeah, we wish.) Who cares about the state of the Political Science Department? And what difference does it make that Penn isn't getting along so well with all of its neighbors. Stop causing trouble and start getting back to covering the panel discussions, guest speakers and band concerts that make up the real news at this campus.

Name Witheld Angry Campus Reader

Why don't you just blow us? This is really the kind of crap we hate dealing with. Do you know that our salaries add up to about $1.25 an hour? Do you think that makes us want to listen to you? Usually, we just pick letters at random from the inbox, unless the subject reads "Sexual Favors for DP eds" or something like that. Then we look you up the in the facebook and decide if it's worth it. Usually, it's not. We don't get that many groupies, but our managing editor is reputed not to be very picky.

To the Editor: It has now been six and a half minutes since I last wrote a letter to The Daily Pennsylvanian, and I think it is high time that I remind your readers about the rampant racism flying through the University of Pennsylvania Police Department. But while I'm on the topic of complaints, I would also like to note my issues with the following: the selection of John McCain as Commencement speaker, the status of the Political Science Department, the color of Judith Rodin's hair and the geographic positioning of College Hall. I demand that it be moved four inches to the left. Further, I find it appalling that nobody seems to care about the large stock of machine guns and nuclear devices being held under the UPPD headquarters on Chestnut Street. What kind of moron would keep guns in a police station? If you do not publish my letter, I shall be forced to write another one in the next three or four minutes.

Kenny Yuen Former UPPD officer

Thanks Kenny. Now leave us alone and go back to the nice people with the white suits.

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.