A very queer version of sensitivity and comfort

It was nice being in the sexual majority the other morning. Usually, for me, majority status comes only with a smoky dance floor and a house beat that makes my jeans vibrate. The other morning, however, it came with a blazing sun and a crunchy breeze. The B-GLAD rally contained so much condensed goodwill that I found myself smiling in spite of the windy chill creeping down my neck. My grin flinched though, often and painfully, upon each casual utterance of the word "queer." Finally, a friend whispered to me, "I'm still trying to get used to that word." Smiling in spite of myself, I responded, "I'm not." I'm insulted when some jerk on the street shouts "queer" at me, and I'm equally insulted when those shouts come from a rainbow-clad podium. "Queer" just like "faggot," "nigger" and "kike," has a very specific, derogatory meaning. It doesn't just mean "different" -- it means frighteningly different; it implies something insidious and deviant. But many in the LGBT community disagree with me. They say that we've "reclaimed" the word. The B-GLAD supplement to the DP called "queer" a "self-affirming umbrella term." People who embrace this word have tried in earnest to convince me that it's perfectly fine, and I respect their opinion. I don't, however, feel that my opinion is given the same respect -- not by a long shot. Last year, the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Alliance decided to change its name. Being on the LGBA discussion listserv, I witnessed the dialogue unfold... and unfold and unfold and unfold. Dozens of epic e-mails would fill my mailbox every day, and "Queer Student Alliance" was clearly a popular option. But it was by no means unanimous, and the dissenting voices were dissenting with passion. In the end, we became the QSA, and I removed my e-mail address from the listserv, wondering how on earth this organization -- supposedly a refuge of sensitivity and comfort -- could appropriate a word so clearly hurtful to so many people. As far as I'm concerned, if even one person in this community is offended by "queer," then the word has no business in public discourse, let alone in the name of an organization. I fear for my safety and dignity in the outside world, and I've accepted that. What I will not accept, however, is being disrespected in my own community. And all of this for what? For an umbrella term. It's too much to say, "gay lesbian bisexual transgender and questioning," whenever you want to reference "the community." We needed an umbrella term, and this is all we could come up with? I find it absurd that the existing terminology is so limited that we had to resort to one with so many horrid connotations. And who said we needed to rummage through the existing lexicon? If you have something to say, but you don't have a word for it, make one up! We can be Shmoo people, or Mifo people -- whatever you want! I dare you to be offended by "Bafaz Student Alliance." That certainly doesn't offend me. To be fair, I'm not easily offended. That's why this is a problem. If I'm offended, imagine a bisexual girl from a small Midwestern town, just discovering a community of people like her, and then confronting the word "queer." It's hard enough to come out of the closet without a synonym for "strange" and "deranged" plastered all over the land beyond the closet door. The irony is that this term has fragmented the community it was meant to unify. In the process of herding gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people into a word, the community establishment -- on campus, academic and national levels -- has effectively excluded people who feel as I do. And it's not our problem. Stubborn as it may sound, it's not our responsibility to change. If an African-American campus group changed its name to "Nigga Student Alliance," I dare say black student dissent would be understandable. No one would ask them to politely rid their minds of previous semantic knowledge to conform to their newly imposed label, and if anyone suggested such a thing, he or she would be called condescending and insensitive. But now, even in gatherings where I'm in the sexual majority, I feel condescended to -- I feel attacked. And I'm not alone. Our campus LGBT community -- a community that calls "queer" an umbrella term while using a "silent T" in "B-GLAD" -- should prioritize sensitivity over semantics.

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