The terrible twosome's White House romp

Manners are telling. We learn a lot by watching how people treat our hospitality. You extend a warm hand to some people and they return it in kindness. Other people, you give them an inch and they take a foot. Take the Clintons, for example. There's a duo that absolutely abused the hospitality of the American people. We move back an inch, and they walk a mile, flaring up provocation. In a matter of weeks, former President Clinton has managed to piss away any hopes that Americans might actually miss him by displaying his tendency to cross the line between grace and irreverence.

If he had rode out of the White House with any hint of style and class, I think that he would have caught a tide of sympathy from his former constituents. Time heals the wounds of experience. A non-newsworthy Bill Clinton could have made us remorseful of how he was treated in office. He could have made us remember the skilled politician and effective statesman. But Bill and Hillary couldn't just kiss us goodbye politely. They just had to create a stir. Clinton is like the guy who dumps the living room mint bowl into his pockets before leaving your dinner party. And Hillary? She ate the last piece of cake before everyone had been served a piece. Bill leaves office, and we think that maybe he'll decide to rest his bones in the suburbs of New York. But instead, he decides that he needs midtown Manhattan office space before he's even unpacked his gifts in Chappaqua. That's fine, Bill -- but 8,000 square feet on Central Park and $600,000? Here we go again. We forgave his cigar fetish and that fling with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. We let the memory of the impeachment fade away. We gave him one mile of forgiveness, and now he's taking the length of the coastline in unprecedented transgressions. Amazing, it also runs in the family. Hillary decided that she wanted a Senate seat. No doubt, forget that she's never held office, or that she hasn't ever lived in New York. So she leverages her hubby's Rolodex, plays dirty when she has to, and now she's a humble senatorial servant of the people. Alright, we always knew Hillary was a doer. But then she decides to publish her story -- for $8 million. At least she could have let some time pass after her election victory and White House departure before signing such a monstrous advance contract. See, despite the controversies of her family and her unconventional career path, we still gave her a Senate seat. Then she took a book advance, a house and gifts galore. How they do it, nobody will know. The Clintons are mastermind manipulators. These two continually cross the line between utilizing and abusing the hospitality of America. They flaunt indiscretions in our face. They want us to know that they're taking us for a ride. Then, magically, some of us forgive and forget. Maybe the Clintons figured out that it doesn't really matter. America is polarized over these two, right down the middle. Half of us think their company is so worthwhile we'll let them romp around the house any way the please. The other half wouldn't let them onto their property. Isn't our majority, winner-take-all system adorable? Nostalgia and short-term memory loss should be a departing two-term president's best friends. We always lament what we don't have. Americans should have been a little teary-eyed after Clinton's departure. For all his faults -- and there were many -- plenty of Americans believed he was a good man. Now we just want him to stop the pain of his post-presidential dribbling. He exposed the worst parts of his personality, without any of his magical charm that kept his loyalists content. From now on, they'll be little doubt about their dance; we move an inch, they take one foot. But never underestimate the slickness of Slick Willy and Senator Hillary. They'll have us back on their team in no time. All either of them need is the forgiveness of that tiny group of Americans that has always sat on the fence. With Bill's empathetic ear and Hillary's unabashedly obvious aggressiveness, the terrible twosome could once again win any office they choose.

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