Mad enough to make a difference

Each time he announced a new nominee, I couldn't take my eyes off the corner of the TV screen. The nominee would be talking, but I was fixated on George W. Bush's tense, twisted, sniveling, vapid little face and couldn't stop thinking of that old saying, "What will it mean for the Jews?" Then I'd walk outside, look around, and realize that the Jews have it pretty damn good. So a better question would be, "What will it mean for the gays? For the lesbians? For the bisexuals? For the transgendered people?" Well, a lot of things could happen, so let's start with a worst-case scenario: It's the first meeting of President Bush, Vice President Cheney, the cabinet and the Congressional leadership. A freak gas leak causes an explosion which leaves but one survivor -- Attorney General John Ashcroft. The only official left in the line of succession, Ashcroft assumes the presidency and interprets the accident as a sign from God. Not just any God; it's the God from "GodHatesFags.com." Ashcroft whips out his Confederate flag-print pen and signs a slew of executive orders, repealing every existing gay rights measure, and shipping the entire gay population to a remote settlement in Utah, where we undergo intense aversion-therapy: shock treatment, hormone injections, 24-hour viewings of Normal, OH. Meanwhile, the rest of the country suffers from a sudden lack of lascivious Calvin Klein underwear ads, and Xena: Warrior Princess goes out of syndication. It's enough to make you move to Amsterdam. But what's the best-case scenario? Well, we're not exactly looking at legalized marriage and gay Boy Scout quotas here. Even with a Democratic administration, we'd be a long way from a transgendered secretary of state. But we've still got a couple of good things going for us. We've got Mary Cheney. As long as good old Dick stays away from red meat, roller coasters and sudden loud noises, our country will have a vice president who has officially spawned a lesbian. And this isn't a skeleton in the closet either -- she managed part of his campaign. So while Dick Cheney may have the politics of Archie Bunker, he presumably has a little useful fatherly compassion. Furthermore, his former press spokesman at the Department of Defense, Pete Williams, is also openly gay. On top of that, Cheney reacted to the issue of gay marriage during the debates by saying, albeit vaguely, "I think people should be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to enter into." Also in the debates, Bush was asked about the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, a gay civil rights bill, and replied (gasp), "Well, I have no idea... I mean, he can throw out all kinds of -- I don't know the particulars of this law." Presumably, now that he's president, he will -- who knows -- pick up a newspaper, find out those particulars and get back to us. But let's get real. That could take all four years. Therefore, the next four years probably won't be too horrendously bad. We might not make any great strides forward, but any steps back will be, with any luck, minimal. Ah, to be satisfied with "minimal discrimination." Just a few months ago, I was so hopeful. But then, on Election Night, I remember staring at another face on my TV screen. It was Ralph Nader, and I wanted to beat him inside out. He had ruined any prospects of a progressive four years, or at least a comfortable status quo. But it was only a televised image, so I kept my fists to myself and watched him give a devious little smile. And for that moment, even though he was silent, I knew what he was telling me. That grin said, "Don't worry, you paranoid freak. If things don't get that bad, then great! But if things start looking apocalyptic -- that's even better. Because then, people will get mad; mad enough to make a real difference, a difference that can last." So maybe things won't be so bad after all. Frightened liberals will give more money to the right organizations. The Daily Show will have some great material. And by the time the next election rolls around, maybe people will come to their senses and punch in enough Democratic votes to make even a Florida-sized fraud irrelevant.

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