An irresponsible portrayal

So my mom hangs up the phone. Apparently, we just ordered the Showtime network. I ask why and she says, "I read about this new gay TV show I want to watch." Red alert! She means Queer as Folk and, from what I've heard, even supportive parents like mine aren't going to take to kindly to this kind of entertainment -- namely, soft-core porn. My parents are saints. They're one-for-two with straight sons, but they're resilient. So resilient, in fact, that I decided to try out this new show along with them. It couldn't be that bad. Granted, two years ago, together we saw Wilde -- the biography of Oscar Wilde -- and I was almost orphaned right around the 52nd time Stephen Fry inspected Jude Law's prostate. But my parents have come a long way in two years. As soon as the show started, I knew we were in for a bumpy ride. Two men wake up in bed together -- how's this for an opening dialogue: Brian: "Who the hell are you?" Anonymous Man: "I'm the guy you fucked last night." Brian: "Oh, right. Were you any good?" At least Fry and Law were witty and interesting! Perhaps, I think, once the plot becomes clear, then this Brian's rather irritating vulgarity will fade into the background, and I can immerse myself in something -- anything -- other than casual sex. Alas, my high hopes went squish, along with my general optimism about the quality of television, when the camera cut to Justin, a frightfully good-looking 17-year-old, sitting in a therapist's office along with his frazzled mother. The inquisition begins, and the camera zooms in on Justin. Is he going to say it? -- those three iconic words: "I am gay." Well, he had three words. But not those three. Instead, he said "I like dick." That pretty much sums up Queer as Folk's analysis of modern life for gay men. No more euphemisms, or even labels; they get right down to the meat of things. None of the characters date -- they only have one night stands. When Michael is wined and dined by a rich doctor who doesn't want to hop into bed right away, he gets out of the doctor's car and goes straight to a club where he lets a kneeling stranger unzip his pants and... Well, there was a fade out, but I doubt the next line was, "Turn your head and cough." Why all of this plot summary? To show you why this plot made my mom cry. Just after the credits, she turned to me, face sunken nearly to the ground, repeating, "I don't think I like this!" Of course she didn't. The major gay male characters in this show come in three basic varieties: mean and lonely, vapid and lonely and confused and lonely. Hardly the traits a mother prays for in her sons, yet -- with media portrayals of gay life pretty much consisting of this show and Will and Grace -- the TV-manufactured chances of her sons turning out that way are around six in seven. (Will Truman being essentially the only gay man on TV who isn't mean-spirited, shallow, or a price short of a hooker). Queer as Folk creator Ron Cowen predicted my peeves, and has labeled them "a form of internalized homophobia, that you are basically afraid to show straight people what your life is really like, and so you put forth a PC image out of fear." My first response to such a statement is, "But this isn't what my life is really like!" And that's tricky ground; to get defensive is an implicit insult to people who do lead lives like this. All of a sudden, I'm the odd man out. Now, I'm a judgmental, homophobic victim of an outdated, heterosexist "morality." Now, let's set aside all arguments about "sexual morality," and get to the real issue, which is that my mom is really upset. She's not a relic of an archaic conservative age of chastity belts and dowries; she's a liberal, modern, parade-marching, angry letter-writing advocate for gay rights. So if she's upset, something is wrong. She sees gay characters on TV having casual sex, and it scares her. There are certainly things to be scared about; yes, there's AIDS, but, perhaps more visibly, there's loneliness. From what I've seen, in spite of good lighting and a catchy soundtrack, these men don't seem happy. This is a problem not just because it upset my mom; it's a problem because it makes gay men seem sad and a pathetic. With visibility so sparse, such a portrayal is just plain irresponsible.

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