A cure for the finals blues

Life has a nice way of periodically delivering a healthy kick to the rear, doesn't it? Take, for instance, finals season. We all knew this was coming for the past three months, but each successive week this semester has slowly added to a downward spiral of denial. Well, deny it all you want, but with only a weekend and some reading days left before the fun starts, the campus is slowly taking on the more redeeming characteristics of a morgue. Look to your left, and behold the sleep-deprived Finance student dragging a cot into Steinberg-Dietrich for the first in a series of all-nighters. Look to your right, and witness the zombie in Rosengarten frantically searching for words like "superfluous" and "extraneous" to creep over that eight-page minimum threshold. And with these scenarios come the snappy, biting attitude that lies dormant for most of the semester, hidden under a layer of ample sleep and a balanced amount of work. They don't show you this in the admissions guide, do they? The University of Pennsylvania is a great school for working hard and playing hard -- but come the last two weeks before winter break, and suddenly reality deals a cruel blow and knocks the entire balance out of whack. While the mix of fun and work turns to a lethal dose of untarnished toil in your personal hell, everyone else on campus is going through the same exact thing. And for that reason, there's little excuse for pretending your load is the heaviest and the world should just move aside in deference. You know what I mean. The snappy comments by hurried people standing in line multiplies tenfold. The pace of passersby on Locust Walk cranks up a notch from a lazy meander to a determined stride. All over campus, you can feel everyone operating with that little hint of panic and desperation. Don't just suck it up, either. Rather than denying the horrible situation your poor planning has wrought, try incorporating some fun into the next few weeks. Contrary to popular belief, there are constructive alternatives to hating the entire world for the enormous workload suddenly materializing on your desk. And by constructive alternatives, I don't mean the famous pastime of comparing how much you have to do in the next four days with your roommate to determine who's in a deeper hole. Because we all know that confirming your superlatively crappy situation really makes it easier to swallow. Go to a basketball game. With a nationally ranked Maryland team in town tomorrow, there's no better way to take the edge off than screaming your lungs out at opposing Terrapins . Who knows, with a win possible at the Palestra, you might just pick up that contagious slay-the-beast attitude for your upcoming tests. Check out some of the shows still getting crammed in by one of Penn's thousands of performing groups. There are a few still remaining and they've had more time to practice than the others -- whether that means they'll be any good only you can decide. Go work out -- your atrophied toothpick legs won't help you get around if you don't show them some more love than the "e-mail break" to the iMacs in the library. In the end, there's no denying that fall semester is rough. The days are getting shorter, the nights longer -- and staying up late when an inviting bed calls to you takes its toll. With a long break ahead, staying focused for a few tests or papers in the next few weeks never is easy. But maybe some of you can become the two percent who don't become clinically insane over the next week. Some might realize that while hating the world and carrying that heavy chip on their shoulder can be entertaining for a day, but it's not so much fun when everyone else is slouching, too. Or just keep on working yourself crazy. Some might think a few weeks of pain isn't that bad when a month of nirvana lies right over the cliff's edge. And for those appreciating the psychotic anguish of finals, enjoy. Either way, you can find me working diligently on a true New Year's priority -- delivering a swift kick right back at life.

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