Speakers recount 'coming out' experiences

College freshman Daniel Sloane began a new life last semester when he "came out of the closet" -- news which led his friends to support him, hallmates to rally around him and his roommate to drop out of school on medical leave. A forum held Thursday night as part of Bisexual Gay Lesbian Transgendered Awareness Days focused on stories like Sloane's about the decision to acknowledge one's sexual orientation. Sponsored by the Lesbian Gay and Bisexual Center at Penn, the forum featured six panelists who shared their stories with the rest of the group. Sloane, one of the panelists, described his coming out as "three-and-a-half weeks of hell," yet he said he knows he is a stronger and better person as a result. The other panelists talked about their own personal situations, ranging from shocked siblings to disbelieving parents. Lesbian Gay Bisexual Alliance co-Chairperson Dan Weiner, an Engineering sophomore, took a medical leave of absence for six months before he came out -- to overcome the "fear, shame, hatred, loathing," he said he sometimes felt for himself. For second-year Wharton graduate student Felipe Munoz, coming out was one of the most "gratifying and enriching experiences" of his life. Munoz said he believes that coming out is an "ongoing process" and he described several different stages that he went through. First, Munoz came out to his parents and dealt with their reactions, then he went to friends and soon in his workplace. Eventually, he said he will have to confront corporate America. "It's been a rocky road," Munoz said, but added that it was worth the trouble. Many of the panelists and the 12 others in attendance laughed and shared stories, expressing their admiration for the members of the panel and other participants who were courageous enough to share their experiences. Panelist and College freshman Maria Arlotto did not come out when she came to the University, like many of the other panelists. Instead, she recognized that she was a lesbian during her sophomore year of high school. Attending a Catholic, all-girl's school, she used this realization to change many of the rules of her school. Her ultimate success came during her senior year, when she gained administrative approval for "girls bringing other girls" to their senior prom. Each coming out story varied dramatically. Program for Student-Community Involvement Associate Director Bea Swedlow said she came out "over a 15-year period since I was four." And the evening's facilitator, Gloria Casarez, said she was "outed" by her aunt, who told the family at Thanksgiving dinner that "Gloria doesn't like boys." Many participants talked about similar themes, including the enormous support they received from their friends, faculty and especially the LGBC on campus. The discussion was very informal, especially when the floor was opened for questions. College freshman Alex Gino questioned LGBC staff member Laura Lau as to why Lau came out when she knew that her brothers would kick her out of her home. "I wanted to feel mentally and emotionally well," Lau replied. Other questions involved parental reaction, which ranged from extremely supportive to hostile and cold. Despite panelist and Wharton junior Sam Chandan's belief that by coming out "the planets would align," the stories told Thursday night emphasized the hardships involved in the process.

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