While we Swamis do our best to stay out of the tumultuous political issues of the day, we are nothing if not fervent believers in strong family values. So, on this fine weekend, we would like to pay tribute to all of those who contributed to the Swami gene pool, and all the other parents who visit campus and force their children to meet them for breakfast hung over at 8:30 Sunday morning. Come on folks, your kids have been studying hard all semester long, attending class after class and visiting our fine libraries each and every evening. They need Sunday mornings to rest up for the next week's academic challenges. But, back to us Swamis, for now. The first place our red carpets took us was Lansdale, Pa. After enjoying some fine entertainment at Freddy's Fun Center, we had the distinct pleasure of meeting Mr. Penske, Stephen's clueless father. We Swamis asked the elder auto racing guru for his predictions for the weekend's action. "What are the possible scores?" was the reply we received. Yikes. After noting that his Swami son's genius this season was no doubt due to "genetic extra-sensory perception," he picked Penn 20-10, Yale 25-5, Princeton 15-10, Lehigh 20-10 and Dartmouth 10-5. Apparently, a touchdown is worth five points in Lansdale. Reboarding our carpets, we went to visit Mamma and Papa Goldsmith. Having not read Swami Rock Around's fine column in yesterday's journal, this dynamic duo had already jumped head-first off the Quakers bandwagon. Mr. Goldsmith claimed he had a Bar Mitzvah to attend tomorrow -- out of town of course. Ah-ha, sure. A Bar Mitzvah. To top it all off, this esteemed citizen of Huntingdon Valley picked Brown 21-17. So did his idiot son, for that matter. You know, sir, nobody likes a shunner. Not even us Swamis. And since you obviously don't read these fine pages frequently enough, we'll tell you you a little secret: Brown sucks. As the evening air got just a wee bit nippy, we decided to head south. So we paid a visit to Boca Raton, Fla., the home of the rich, the famous and the Merans. Having shipped not one but two of their pesky children from the household up to the friendly (and safe) confines of West Philly, the parents of our reigning King Swami are perfectly content to stay home this weekend. Papa Meran did give us insight as to what makes his Swami son the best in the business. "He's got a dartboard in his room," the elder Meran said. And we were wondering why our defending King swami was so close to the Dartboard in the standings. Hmmmm.
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