GUEST COLUMN: Suicide: Don't Lose Hope, Get Help

As I read the article I looked for clues to why Michael Allen and Robert Tan killed themselves. A diagnosis of manic depression was mentioned but, as a psychologist, I know that such a diagnosis may only be part of the picture. Early intervention and recently developed treatments increase the likelihood of individuals with manic depression coping and functioning well. Intellectually, I know that people who kill themselves believe that suicide is the only solution left to deal with their overwhelming situation Why had they lost hope? I wondered if they showed any danger signs, since at least 70 percent of all people committing suicide give some clue as to their intentions prior to making the attempt Did they make statements like "I can't stand this any more," "It will never get better," or "I want to die?" Were any hints of a suicide plan revealed? Generally, such statements describe feelings of depression, helplessness, and isolation, which may suggest suicidal thoughts. Did they display outward changes in their behavior? People who are preparing for death often give away prized possessions, withdraw from others, change eating or sleeping patterns, or lose interest in activities or relationships A sudden, intense lift in spirits may also be a danger sign, possibly indicating that the person is experiencing a sense of relief, knowing the problems will end soon by taking their lives. Often significant others realize the person is in pain, but not to the extent that someone would actually kill themselves. At the workshops and trainings that Counseling and Psychological Services offers to the Penn community, certain questions are frequently asked. "Does thinking about suicide mean you're mentally ill?" In fact, many people have thought of suicide from time to time and most suicides and suicide attempts are made by bright but temporarily confused individuals who are expecting too much of themselves and are in the middle of a crisis. And talking about suicide doesn't give the person in pain the idea of hurting themselves but gives the person a chance to feel less isolated, helpless, and hopeless. If someone you know may be suicidal, there are things you can do: 1) be a friend; sit, listen and understand as best you can; 2) do not promise confidentiality, since it may not be in the best interest of everyone involved to keep it; 3) talk openly about the topic of suicide, such as asking if they have thought of hurting themselves; 4) help the person gain hope by talking about positive alternatives; and 5) get assistance yourself. It can be a heavy burden knowing that someone you care about is contemplating suicide. Seek out the resources around you to get professional help, even if this means breaking a confidence. You can let the person know that you want to help and will assist them getting the professional help that they need. It is tragic when someone feels such tremendous pain that they see suicide as the only option. Remember and convey that the crisis is temporary and help is available.

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