'Spy' offers hot spots for sex

Knockin' boots behind the books. Well, whatever one may call it, the October edition of Spy magazine lists the stacks of Van Pelt Library, the Fine Arts stacks and under the Button as some of the best places on America's college campuses to have sex. John Sellers, a self-described "lowly intern" at Spy's New York offices, confirmed this week that the three University references on the ever-ambiguous "Spy College List" were indeed related to sexual escapades. Similarly low Spy intern Carl Swanson said a University graduate might have had heavy influence on the "college list." "We must have had someone from Pennsylvania working on those things," he said. Also included in the list are the courtyard at Harvard University's Dunster House and the Stanford University mausoleum where founder Leland Stanford and his wife are buried. "The Spy List you have to figure out yourself," Sellers said. "It's an inside joke." He later admitted, however, that the list was where staffers "recommend" students across the country indulge in lustful lunges. Despite the sites' apparent popularity, University officials said they have never encountered such behavior. "I'm curious," said Charles Jenkins, who is the Van Pelt building manager and has been with the University since 1958. "Exhibitionists" have been the main source of trouble for the library, he said. Jenkins said he "wouldn't know what to do" if he caught a couple groping in the geography section. "It would depend on how involved they were," Jenkins said. "I would think people would have more sense than to have to do that." For a student body so easily stumped on esoteric microeconomics questions, many had quick recall of the University's desire-inducing dark closets and shag-carpeted lounges. College junior Audrey Cooper said the logistics at the Button might be difficult. "I checked out the Button," she said, "and I think the only way it would really be possible is if there was a big power outage." Cooper added that Franklin Field might be a better place for the adventurous. College junior Max Handelman suggested a more sordid locale. "The Murph's [Murphy's Tavern] bathroom," Handelman said. "People laugh at that, but I know people who have done it." On a more personal level, Handelman was most forthcoming. "While desecrating the glorious halls of Wharton was a highlight, I would have to go with the Ashhurst study lounge for the cozy ambience and soft floor," Handelman said. Right.

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