Column: Off To See The (Grand) Wizard

Presently, Duke is involved in a hotly contested run-off for the Louisiana governor's mansion. Last year at this time, Duke was giving Louisiana Democratic Senator J. Bennett Johnston a run for his money. Johnston finally prevailed, however. But Duke, the founder and former president of the National Association for the Advancement of White People (old Dukey boy is pretty original), walked away with 45 percent of the vote. Not bad for a guy who, self-admittedly, used to wear a white hood, burn crosses in people's front yards and kill people. Duke claims now that he is reformed. He says that his racist, bigoted and murderous days are behind him, and he is ready to put Louisiana's and the country's economy back in order by purging the American political system of welfare and that burdensome and oppressive policy -- affirmative action. You know, just yesterday I was telling some friends of mine that if we could only get rid of those two silly policies, America would leap right out of this never-ending recession. The Democrats ought to be privately praying and urging Duke to run for President. Even if Duke does not run for president, someone in the Democratic party ought to be chastising Bush for not actively campaigning for Duke's Democratic opponent, Edwin Edwards. If the Democrats don't want to criticize the president right now (because the Democrats, as we all know, have this master plan to capture the White House by imitating Bush), someone in the Democratic Party should anonymously send Duke a huge sum of money with a note reading: "Duke, baby, you're the best thing to happen to the world since Hitler and the Dred Scott decision. Guys like Arsenio Hall, Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan are alright, but now they're trying to shove Doug Wilder, multiculturalism and quotas down my throat. Please run for president. We need you." If Duke decided to run, he would polarize the Republican voting bloc. He would easily steal about one-third of Bush's national support as well as ignite an unmatched Democratic voter registration drive. Most importantly, turnout amongst ethnic and racial minorities would be huge. If Duke runs, the ghost of Willie Horton would come back to haunt Bush like he never could have imagined. I know Bush was able to successfully pretend the Iraqi occupation of Kuwait and the coup in the Soviet Union did not require his utmost attention, but I guarantee that Bush, Quayle, Sununu and the rest of the White House GOP insiders are a tad bit concerned about David Duke becoming Governor Duke or, worst yet, Republican presidential candidate David Duke. I could see the result now. Flanked by his wife and son, Mario Cuomo steps to the podium at the 1992 Democratic Convention in Madison Square Garden to accept the nomination for president with a 10 point lead (he would not want a real big lead so early in the campaign). After the crowd's screams die down, Cuomo announces that his running mate will be the former presidential candidate and war hero from Nebraska, Senator Bob Kerry. Once again, the crowd erupts like a volcano. Meanwhile, at the White House, they're thinking, "And we thought a Wofford victory was the worst thing that could have happened to us." Harold Ford is a senior History major from Memphis, Tennessee. Say It Loud appears alternate Thursdays.

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